The Two-Line Pass

So yesterday, NHL COO John Collins was interviewed by Bloomberg News about the possibile locations of future Winter Classics. He threw out the usual, standard-fare options that would be great (Fenway, Yankee Stadium, Penn State). Everyone would love to see outdoor games in those cities. It would be awesome.

But then the interview headed to Weirdsville in a goddamn hurry.

NHL representatives recently visited Las Vegas in part to gauge the feasibility of staging a Jan. 1 game on Las Vegas Boulevard South, the area known as “the Strip,” Collins said.

“Logistically, it could happen,” he said.

Could it? Could it really? When I read this, I phoned a friend of mine who lives in Las Vegas. Midday temps in Vegas on New Years Day: 45 degrees. Midday temps in Vegas right this second: 70. So what logistical circumstances, outside the construction of a super villain-type weather machine (surely to be built in Gary Bettman’s Lab for Desecration of the Sport that I’m convinced exists), would allow for the game to be played in these conditions?

I’m pretty sure I remember people in Chicago flipping the hell out when it was like 50 out and they were worried about that affecting ice quality. Imagine Shane Doan taking a header into the boards because he hit a puddle caused by a week of 65-degree days in the lead-up to the game. Ridiculous, stupid idea.

Oh but you wanted to hear a worse one? Take it away, Collins:

A Jan. 1 date would likely make for better playing conditions. Prior to this year’s game, the NHL also spent more than $1 million on a custom-made refrigeration truck and other equipment, allowing for better control of the ice surface.

“The new rink opens up a lot of opportunities,” Collins said. “We might even be able to have a night game out at the Rose Bowl.”

Yeah it was 70 in L.A. on New Years’ Day. And I’m pretty sure the Rose Bowl is all booked up on Jan. 1 anyways. I believe they’ve played something called THE F’N ROSE BOWL on it every New Years’ Day for the past 95 years. Collins has to be talking out of his ass.

What is with the NHL’s obsession with taking something special and widely regarded as “good” (Outdoor games! Big crowds! Record ratings!) and changing it for no goddamn reason whatsoever?

But because the Rose Bowl might not be feasible, I have come up with several places that will serve as suitable substitutes for an upcoming Winter Classic:

Read the rest of this entry »

Jet Magazine is usually not one in which you’ll find much hockey talk, but the Winter Classic is such a big to-do that even the purveyors of the latest news on Lil Wayne’s Grammy hopes and a Black History quiz took the time to cobble together a brief preview on Dustin Byfuglien’s participation in the Jan. 1 super-event, in a brief entitled, “Dustin Byfuglien Stars in NHL Winter Classic.”

“Stars?” Let’s not go too crazy.

He will be the only player of color in the Classic, which is the second regular season outdoor NHL game played in the United States.

“There aren’t too many that are played outdoors, and to be a part of that is something special,” Byfuglien tells Jet Magazine. “It’s not going to be a normal hockey game … you just never know what to expect out of a game like that.”

…

A team player, Byfuglien is active in the community as well. He visits various charities and speaks with young African-American hockey players that are looking to follow in his steps.

“You just have to tell them to stick with it and when you’re out there working with them, you just have to have fun and make sure they’re having fun.”

How insightful. I have no link for you to prove that I’m not making this up, so feel free to pick up a copy of Jet later this month and read the four paragraphs I opted not to transcribe.

Of course, Byfuglien isn’t the first “player of color” to play an outdoor NHL game. Georges Laraque, who played in both the Heritage Classic as a member of the Oilers in 2004 and last year’s Winter Classic as a member of the Penguins, and has every right to be pissed that his involvement wasn’t worth mentioning for the editors of Jet in previous years.

There have been a myriad of ways the NHL has repeatedly screwed over its longtime fans, but the most egregious of these just might be the way it’s handling the Winter Classic at Wrigley Field.

Today, the league announced that it would hold a lottery for the general public to get tickets.

A general public random drawing will be held to determine who will have an opportunity to purchase the remaining tickets with a limited number of tickets set aside for the community ticket initiative described below.  Fan registration for the random drawing will be conducted through the Chicago Blackhawks’ official website (www.chicagoblackhawks.com) beginning on or about Noon ET/11 a.m. CT, Wednesday, Nov. 5, 2008, through on or about 11:59 a.m. ET/10:59 a.m. CT, Friday, Nov. 28, 2008.  Registrations received after the deadline will not be accepted.  There is no fee to register.  Limit one entry per person.  Each registrant selected will have an opportunity to purchase a limited number of tickets.

Which would be cool. Except this ignores that guaranteed opportunity to purchase tickets to this is only given to full Blackhawks season ticket holders.

So the 14,000 full season ticket holders will take up 34ish percent of Wrigley’s 41,000 seats. The NHL then has the right to decide who gets the rest. They’ll give out some to local youth hockey programs, which, if you look at the seating chart I posted last week, won’t be that many. So call it 25,000 seats the NHL gets to give out to whomever they like apart from youth hockey programs. The league will certainly hand some out to local sponsors and the Red Wings organization will take about 8,000 (that’s the rumor at least), what’s that leave?

Oh know who else gets a crack at tickets before the general public? The “NHL Winter Classic partners” meaning the clowns at AMP Energy and all the other stupid crap they’re always peddling on Versus. Doesn’t make a lot of sense because the Winter Classic is ostensibly for the benefit of the fans, right?

They are effectively ignoring the Blackhawks’ partial season ticket holders, the Red Wings’ full season ticket holders, and hell, even Cubbies’ season ticket holders who deserve it more than the clowns the NHL will eventually give these tickets to.

Good work, Bettman.

The good news is that a front-row seat for the Winter Classic costs $75. The bad news is that the nosebleeds cost $325.

Not sure I get it either.

Yeah, the NHL released its Winter Classic seating charts yesterday and, well, you figure it out.

What a disaster this turned out to be. Seats out in center field that are an easy 250 feet from the rink cost $75, the same as seats that are closer to 100 but apparently have obstructed views of some parts of the rink. Why only three pricing levels? Why so expensive? Why no seats on the field? It’s going to look stupid with a full baseball outfield of NOTHING as the backdrop to the game.

At least Gary Bettman isn’t Bud Selig, right? Right?

This is actually the law now.

I didn’t think the phrase “_______ sucks” would ever get into legitimate legislation, but it looks like I have underestimated the Tiny Toddlin’ Town.

So when Quigley put together an official resolution Tuesday celebrating the Hawks’ outdoor showdown against the Red Wings on New Year’s Day at Wrigley Field, he included a secret message to the reigning Stanley Cup champions and their fans.

He used red capital letters in the last line of his resolution to spell out a favorite chant he learned while growing up a Hawks fan ”in the second balcony in Chicago Stadium.” The letters spelled out, ”DETROIT SUCKS.”

That doesn’t seem especially secret. In fact, it appears to be rather conspicuous. But no matter, it’s awesome that people are getting this fired up over a regular season hockey game that’s almost six months away. Those Wrigleyville cretins might be on the verge of riotous action by the time this game rolls around.

And kudos to Quigley for making Wrigley Field and its surrounding area to be “octopus free.” We loved the way Gary Bettman banned octupus tossing incensed Detroit fans, and this will surely bring equal amounts of rancor.

Besides declaring Jan. 1 will be ”Chicago Blackhawks Day” in Cook County, Quigley’s resolution designates Wrigley Field and the surrounding area an ”Octopus Free Zone” — a dig at Red Wings fans’ tradition of throwing octopi on the ice after their team scores.

Good one. But looking at the way the rink will be set up on the field, the only person who could possibly throw an octopus that far is the kid from that movie “Rookie of the Year,” and he’s from Chicago anyway.

Quigley saved the best truism for last though.

”The good thing about being a Blackhawks fan,” Quigley said, ”is you don’t have to live in Detroit.”

I think even Detroit fans can agree with that one.

This is the setup for the NHL Winter Classic at Wrigley Field on New Years’ Day.

Unless they add seats on the field, no one in attendance is going to have a good view of this.

Hey whaddaya know he was a Cub fan!

I went to a Blackhawk reservation with my wife Helene. They had teepees and everything Indian you can imagine.

Is there anything Rocky Wirtz can’t do?

Soon after his old man was rotting in the ground, he got the Blackhawks on TV, made them relevant in Chicago again, oversaw a complete overhaul of the team’s attitude and image, and now he’s bringing his team’s fans an outdoor game.

“We have said from the start we are going to do everything possible to bring the Chicago Blackhawks back to the forefront of sports for our fans and the city of Chicago. This is indeed an historic announcement for the Wirtz Corporation, the Chicago Blackhawks, for our players, fans and for Chicago,” stated Blackhawks Chairman W. Rockwell “Rocky” Wirtz.

This season’s Winter Classic will be played between the Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings at 1 p.m. on New Years day at Chicago’s Wrigley Field, where the Curse of the Billy Goat and probably Henrik Zetterberg will cause the Blackhawks to lose in calamitous fashion.

Martin Havlat is already scheduled to miss the game due to injury.