The Two-Line Pass

Konnichiwa again.

Partly because I have recently taken a shine to Japanese poetry and theatre (what?), and partly because it will be much, much easier and quicker this way, I have decided to preview the season for each conference in the ancient art of haiku. All teams will be covered in the order in which I believe they’ll finish. Yes, these are meant to take some thought.

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Konnichiwa.

Partly because I have recently taken a shine to Japanese poetry and theatre (what?), and partly because it will be much, much easier and quicker this way, I have decided to preview the season for each conference in the ancient art of haiku. All teams will be covered in the order in which I believe they’ll finish. Yes, these are meant to take some thought.

Read the rest of this entry »

We’re now something like four days out from the start of the NHL season, which means I have to kick these season previews into overdrive because I’m a lazy idiot. This is mainly for two reasons: 1) I am lazy and there’s no way I’ll do one of these every day, and 2) These started early enough that if I just stop doing them entirely you’ll have forgotten by October anyway. Oh and I guess also to show off my near-infinite knowledge of the National Hockey League. I’ll be previewing the teams in reverse order of finish in the 2007-08 season. Please note, though, that this is the opinion of one man, however smart and handsome he may be.

Nashville Predators, you’re on the clock.

There’s been a lot of talk about the Predators this summer, and all of it has focused on bad things.

A member of the ownership group turned out to be a fraud (and really, with a name like “Boots,” who didn’t see that coming?) and one of their best players was all like, “Screw this, I’d rather play in Russia.”

More after the jump.

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We’re now something like five days out from the start of the NHL season, which means I have to kick these season previews into overdrive because I’m a lazy idiot. This is mainly for two reasons: 1) I am lazy and there’s no way I’ll do one of these every day, and 2) These started early enough that if I just stop doing them entirely you’ll have forgotten by October anyway. Oh and I guess also to show off my near-infinite knowledge of the National Hockey League. I’ll be previewing the teams in reverse order of finish in the 2007-08 season. Please note, though, that this is the opinion of one man, however smart and handsome he may be.

Buffalo Sabres, you’re on the clock.

I think this is probably the hardest team to get a read on in the NHL.

On the one hand, you’ve got loads and loads of talent. On the other, well, talent doesn’t always get you where it does on paper. Case in point, LAST year’s Buffalo Sabres, who despite losing just Chris Drury (meh), Dainus Zubrus (meh) and Dany Briere (actually damaging), saw their goal total drop from 298 in 2006-07 to 251 last season.

More after the jump.

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We’re now something like six days out from the start of the NHL season, which means I have to kick these season previews into overdrive because I’m a lazy idiot. This is mainly for two reasons: 1) I am lazy and there’s no way I’ll do one of these every day, and 2) These started early enough that if I just stop doing them entirely you’ll have forgotten by October anyway. Oh and I guess also to show off my near-infinite knowledge of the National Hockey League. I’ll be previewing the teams in reverse order of finish in the 2007-08 season. Please note, though, that this is the opinion of one man, however smart and handsome he may be.

Edmonton Oilers, you’re on the clock.

Note: In the interest of full disclosure, I am and have always been a Flames fan.

Here, then, is the most improved team in the NHL. Maybe not points-wise, but certainly personnel-wise.

Edmonton’s power play was just awful last year (16.6 percent) and as a consequence, it often relied upon its team’s incredible abilities to get to and then win the shootout over the last several years. It’s an often-repeated stat, but were it not for the shootout/overtime loss loser point, the team wouldn’t have even made the playoffs in 2005-06 when it went to the Stanley Cup Final.

More after the jump.

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TOEWSFACE !!!

We’re now something like 21 days out from the start of the NHL season, which means I have to get a move on  with these season previews. This is mainly for two reasons: 1) I am lazy and there’s no way I’ll do one of these every day, and 2) These started early enough that if I just stop doing them entirely you’ll have forgotten by October anyway. Oh and I guess also to show off my near-infinite knowledge of the National Hockey League. I’ll be previewing the teams in reverse order of finish in the 2007-08 season. Please note, though, that this is the opinion of one man, however smart and handsome he may be.

Chicago Blackhawks, you’re on the clock.

The last person you want to be like is Bill Wirtz. No one’s death should be a cause célèbre that actually makes people happy.

While he was philanthropic and loyal almost to a fault in some cases, Old Man Wirtz’s stranglehold on the team he owned for more than four decades had an entire city turned against him and it for the better part of the latter half of the 20th century and into the 21st.

More after the jump.

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We’re now something like 23 days out from the start of the NHL season, which means I have to get a move on  with these season previews. This is mainly for two reasons: 1) I am lazy and there’s no way I’ll do one of these every day, and 2) These started early enough that if I just stop doing them entirely you’ll have forgotten by October anyway. Oh and I guess also to show off my near-infinite knowledge of the National Hockey League. I’ll be previewing the teams in reverse order of finish in the 2007-08 season. Please note, though, that this is the opinion of one man, however smart and handsome he may be.

Vancouver Canucks, you’re on the clock.

This is the Sedins’ show now.

Before, they were kind of in that nebulous group of players that seem good enough for the first line, but are largely unregarded as such throughout the league. It has often been my contention that, were they not twins but remained the exact same players they are, no one outside of the Northwest Conference would really think about them too much one way or the other.

But the league is going to have to start thinking about them, and hard. Daniel and Henrik are two of the best players in the league that get very little credit for what they bring to the rink every night. I mean, LOOK at these guys (and enjoy the sounds of Molly Hatchet while you’re at it), and then think about how Vancouver fans continue to say they aren’t true first-line players.

More after the jump.

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We’re now something like 26 days out from the start of the NHL season so I figure this is as good a time as any to start doing the season previews. This is mainly for two reasons: 1) I am lazy and there’s no way I’ll do one of these every day, and 2) This is early enough that if I just stop doing them entirely you’ll have forgotten by October anyway. Oh and I guess also to show off my near-infinite knowledge of the National Hockey League. I’ll be previewing the teams in reverse order of finish in the 2007-08 season. Please note, though, that this is the opinion of one man, however smart and handsome he may be.

Florida Panthers, you’re on the clock.

Oh man is this going to be a bad team.

Bryan McCabe is the big offseason pickup is proof enough of that. The Panthers franchise is one with a complete lack of direction right now. It just traded its best player, malcontent though he was, and replaced his offensive production with almost literally nothing.

Not that being bad is an unknown situation in Florida, or anything, but this is going to get ugly even by Florida Panthers standards.

On offense, there’s.. well, there’s Nathan Horton and Stephen Weiss who are pretty good and after that.. umm.. I guess David Booth. After that, there’s a bunch of guys who scored less than 40 points. Repeat: less than 40.

More after the jump.

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We’re now something like 28 days out from the start of the NHL season so I figure this is as good a time as any to start doing the season previews. This is mainly for two reasons: 1) I am lazy and there’s no way I’ll do one of these every day, and 2) This is early enough that if I just stop doing them entirely you’ll have forgotten by October anyway. Oh and I guess also to show off my near-infinite knowledge of the National Hockey League. I’ll be previewing the teams in reverse order of finish in the 2007-08 season. Please note, though, that this is the opinion of one man, however smart and handsome he may be.

Phoenix Coyotes, you’re on the clock.

We saw a little bit of this team’s capabilities last year. Very little. But there’s reason for optimism in the desert.

Yeah, the Coyotes were pretty bad last year. Granted they finished above .500 (by a game) and ended with 83 points in a very strong Pacific Conference that sent three teams to the playoffs and saw two teams get out of the first round (the one that didn’t, Anaheim, lost to Dallas). However, I liked the Coyotes’ style of play last year and could stomach their announcers, so I watched a fair number of their games, and I can tell you what their problem was.

More after the jump.

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We’re now something like 29 days out from the start of the NHL season so I figure this is as good a time as any to start doing the season previews. This is mainly for two reasons: 1) I am lazy and there’s no way I’ll do one of these every day, and 2) This is early enough that if I just stop doing them entirely you’ll have forgotten by October anyway. Oh and I guess also to show off my near-infinite knowledge of the National Hockey League. I’ll be previewing the teams in reverse order of finish in the 2007-08 season. Please note, though, that this is the opinion of one man, however smart and handsome he may be.

Toronto Maple Leafs, you’re on the clock.

For the record, I’m still laughing about that Jeff Finger contract.

Jeff Finger. For $3.5 million dollars. Holy hell.

And the best part, it might not even be the worst contract on the team. Jason Blake at $4 million’s right up there. And yeah, the Leafs fans out there are going to argue that he had 52 points last year and that’s no so terrible, which is true enough. But here’s the problem, and it points to a problem we’ve seen with a lot of these bottom-of-the-barrel teams I’ve previewed so far: no offense at all.

Last year, the Maple Leafs were paced by a 78-point season from Mats Sundin. Pretty solid. After that, the next closest guys are Nik Antropov, Tomas Kaberle and the aforementioned Mr. Blake. Point totals for those three: 56, 53, 52. What do they all have in common? Sundin was the player with whom they combined to score the most points. He and Antropov combined on 25 goals (45 percent of Antropov’s scoring), 22 for Kaberle (42 percent) and 16 with Blake (31 percent).

Now the Leafs might have to live with the idea of not having Sundin around any more. That’s a scary thought.

More after the jump.

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