I didn’t get a chance to write about this yesterday (Iginla trade, laughing at Phoenix, etc.) but it seems that Matt Cooke accidentally ripping through Erik Karlsson’s achilles tendon also had the added effect of separating Sens owner Eugene Melnyk from all reason or cognitive functions.
Melnyk is now in the midst of paying actual forensic investigators to prove definitively that Cooke ended Karlsson’s season intentionally. Which he certainly did not. Actual forensic doctors have already weighed in and said things about how there’s probably no way to judge intent in an injury like this. But to be fair, there’s no way the guys or gals who took Melnyk’s money to conduct such a study were going to pass up the likely-minimal-work-for-big-payday job this eccentric whose pharmaceutical company was once investigated by the SEC was all too eager to hand out in his righteous quest for satisfaction from the villain Matt Cooke who hasn’t done anything particularly villainous in a few years now.
And the rant in which he revealed this investigative intent sounded like someone reading a manifesto aloud. How much force would it take to have a skate blade go through a sock, a “sub-sock” (whatever that is), then skin, then muscle, then sheath, THEN tendon? Well yes, Eugene, that’s how cuts work. You didn’t need to hire anyone from the cast of CSI: Miami to tell you that. And as to actually answering the question, I would guess that the answer is something along the lines of “about as much force as is generated by a 200-pound man with little knives attached to his feet stepping downwards as he would normally.” That’s probably about approximately roughly more or less exactly the right amount. Unless Karlsson has about four inches of sheath over his tendon, in which case let’s throw Matt Cooke in jail forever.
As if Jeremy Jacobs spending more than half a million dollars on municipal elections in some craphole richboy town in Florida didn’t provide us with enough evidence that North America’s super-rich have too much time and money on their hands, as well as an almost uncanny ability to hold petty grudges and behave like spoiled children. You know who else was sad to see Erik Karlsson go down for the season? Hockey fans. It’s fun and great to watch him play, and the NHL is poorer for having lost him for the year. But this? It’s beyond stupid. Obviously. Goes without saying. That Melnyk would even deign to waste anyone’s time with this, let alone league officials, while his team is pretty comfortably in a playoff spot, shows just how far up his own ass this guy has his head stuck.
Just imagine the outcry if Mario Lemieux had done something similar with Sidney Crosby’s first concussion, opening a Jim Garrison-style investigation into David Steckel and highlighting how Crosby’s head moved back and to the left on impact. That would have added a crazy amount of fuel to the fire about how much the Penguins whine to the league when something doesn’t go their way, and for once, that fuel would have been rooted in truth and not jealous perception.
None of that for Melnyk though. Mainly because he’s already widely regarded as a joke.
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