The Two-Line Pass

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Yesterday I wrote about teams deluding themselves into being buyers because they’re so close to a playoff spot, and probably paying too-high prices for too-bad players, and sure enough, not a minute before I opened the window to write this post, Darren Dreger tweeted maybe the dumbest thing I’ve read in two weeks:

“CBJ will be a buyer. Columbus would be willing to part with 1 of their 3 first rnd draft picks for a scoring forward.”

A lot of questions come to mind in reading this. Like, “What?” and “Huh?” and “Why would they do that?” and “Seriously?” and “This is an April Fool’s joke, right?” and “No seriously Dreger, is it?” and “What do you mean it’s not?” and “Can you believe how stupid the Blue Jackets are?” and “Wait Scott Howson isn’t their GM any more?”

Tough to answer any of those questions, except maybe the last one. This seems an incredibly foolish tack to take, but on some level it’s an understandable one. This is a new management group, with John Davidson having been brought in over the summer and Jarmo Kekalainen just a few months into the job, and maybe they want to make a bit of splash by acquiring whatever will pass for a “big name” at this deadline — 682-year-old Jaromir Jagr? — and show fans they’re serious about competing for the playoffs. Columbus is already holding onto eighth in the West, but is just a point up on St. Louis, and the Blues have three games in hand.

Therefore, going out and getting someone certainly bolsters their chances for making the postseason, but here’s another question you should feel free to ask JD or Jarmo if you happen to bump into them: “To what end?” The Blue Jackets are third-to-last in goals scored league-wide, which is why they want forward help, but any team gripping as tightly as they are to that spot with their minus-10 goal differential isn’t going to find anyone anywhere worth enough to make them competitive. Remember that Chicago’s goal differential is currently plus-52 better than theirs, and then tell me why this willingness to deal is even remotely existent.

There’s a middle ground between trading a first-round pick for a rental, and selling. That’s standing pat, which most teams would probably be wise to do over the next two days or so. The focus for Columbus should be trying to get the best return possible for their efforts to sell off their good players (Rick Nash, Jeff Cater, etc.) by getting as many high first-round picks as they can, and while the Rangers are doing their best to accommodate those needs by being tied with the Islanders, Los Angeles and the Blue Jackets themselves are doing Kekalainen no favors. Trading one of those — you’d think it’d be the Kings’, but then you also don’t know just how intent they are on securing said scoring forward — seems remarkably ill-advised.

Yeah, the Blue Jackets have made the playoffs once since they existed, and they got swept out of the first round. So here’s one last question: “Don’t you think that a team with 37 points in 36 games probably suffers a similar fate against Chicago, even with this new and exciting forward?” The answer is yes.

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Hi! I’m writing these posts to benefit 826 Boston, a nonprofit writing and tutoring center for area kids at which I volunteer. If you want to make a donation, you can click right here. Thanks!

For whatever reason, it seems as if mediocre defensemen will dominate the trade market this year, and I don’t really know how much sense it makes. Jordan Leopold became the latest of these blueliners to get traded yesterday, moving to St. Louis for the absurdly high price of a second-round pick, just days after Douglas Murray got two out of Pittsburgh.

Is that the market? A mid-to-late second rounder for guys with little actual value and negative corsi relative numbers? Ridiculous. To put it another way, apparently the Blackhawks were in hot pursuit of Lubomir Visnovsky before the Islanders signed him to a big-money extension, and that’s because he has actually been good this year. But having been spurned, they will instead move onto other potential targets like Mark Streit (negative corsi), Robyn Regehr (negative corsi), Jay Bouwmeester (negative corsi), and Ryan Whitney (negative corsi).

It’s come to this, I guess. It seems unlikely that any of these players apart from Bouwmeester will actually help a team be good at hockey — this assumption is based on Bouwmeester largely enjoying a career offensive year despite an extremely low PDO, and playing heavy minutes against the toughest competition on the team for a mostly garbage club — but nonetheless, teams will be happy to pay extremely high prices for these guys. I can’t even begin to imagine what Bouwmeester fetches from whatever team is desperate enough to pay Calgary’s ransom, which will no doubt be boosted appreciably by the team trying to save face after getting robbed in the Iginla deal.

I have something going up on Puck Daddy tomorrow morning about how the market is largely going to be dead, and I believe that rather firmly. The only guys that are going to be moved are guys like Leopold and Murray, who are of little consequence, and whose former teams will be better for having moved them off their rosters. That’s even leaving aside whatever returns they fetch. Which again, seem to be considerable.

The trade deadline is almost by definition always a buyer’s market, and with so few sellers out there, the old adage about teams paying gallon prices for a quart of milk seem more likely to ring true now than not. But if the Blackhawks, or whoever, end up paying that for the defensemen being bandied about in the market these days, they’ll be getting closer to a pint.

Don’t forget to donate to 826 Boston. Thanks again.

Hi! I’m writing these posts to benefit 826 Boston, a nonprofit writing and tutoring center for area kids at which I volunteer. If you want to make a donation, you can click right here. Thanks!

The Maple Leafs are, as I’ve said before, not a particularly great hockey team, nor are they a particularly well-managed or well-coached hockey team. But I did think they were good enough to get into the playoffs if their goaltending held up.

It largely has. And as a result, the Leafs are currently sitting sixth in the East, seven points up on the Islanders, who are just below the postseason cutoff, and they’re looking pretty comfortable, even if they have won just three of their last 10 games (yuck). How comfortable? James Mirtle tweeted this morning that by his count, because the Leafs currently have 40 points and the rest of the East sucks, that the Leafs can go just 5-7-2 in their remaining 14 games and be more or less assured a playoff spot.

Which is crazy. They’ve almost done everything in their power to not make the playoffs, including playing their worst players more minutes than one of the best point-producing and possession-driving centers in the league this season, leaving a high-quality offensive defenseman in the AHL in favor of Korbinian Holzer, and been absolute crap in the shootout. But it’s all been to no avail.

The Leafs are probably going to make the playoffs. They’d need to collapse way more significantly than they did last season, and in 14 games that doesn’t seem all that likely, especially given how soft their schedule is. In all, 10 of their remaining games are against teams below them in the standings, including the Hurricanes (bad), Flyers (worse), Devils twice (okayish I guess), Rangers twice (still underperforming), Islanders twice (dreadful), Capitals (woof), Lightning (crap), and Panthers (the worst).

I can’t be too sure whether lot of people will try to paint this as somehow being a result of their canning Brian Burke being the reason that the Leafs are actually good enough to make the playoffs finally, but I’m going to err on the side of caution and say they obviously will. Only a person like Burke saying that he set the table for the Leafs’ moderate success this likely playoff season — not coincidentally the only one in which James Reimer has been remotely healthy in the last three — would be viewed as being some sort of derogatory misrepresentation of fact. But what has Dave Nonis done this season? Anything of note besides strand Jake Gardiner in the minors for too long? The answer is nothing. That’s it.

So it seems like at long last Toronto is going to have its playoff team. Which is probably something it should or even would have done last season. But moreover it looks like people in the media up there might have to actually say moderately nice things about the things Brian Burke has done in constructing this team and maybe even setting it up for the future. Either that or it’ll take some serious logical acrobatics to avoid doing so. That’s the really mind-blowing thing about all this.

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We all know by now that the Islanders are perhaps the worst-run organization in the NHL, with all apologies to Phoenix.

There is just something about Charles Wang’s deathlock on the Isles that seems to not only sap the team of its ability to be in any way likable or successful, but also to ensure that all its missteps are considerable, and its attempts to appear relevant laughable. Witness, for instance, the Islanders being the only team in the National Hockey League, to my knowledge, that has an in-arena tattoo parlor, for those fans who want to talk about and commemorate 1980-84 like it wasn’t 30 years ago or whatever.

People have long called for Wang to sell the team, but it doesn’t seem likely. The Nassau Coliseum, itself decaying around the decades-decaying team inside it, can’t be gotten rid of because the county in which it’s located won’t approve a replacement. The team might move to Brooklyn or Kansas City or Quebec or literally anywhere that isn’t Long Island, but it probably won’t. Rick DiPietro, meanwhile, is still signed through like 2170.

Islanders fans have long hoped for someone, almost literally anyone, to take over this team. They might even accept you, dear reader.

Enter Pat LaFontaine, and a shadowy cabal of European investors, but mainly Pat LaFontaine. Remember that guy? The guy Wang has basically tried to write out of the Islanders’ history books might buy the team. Yeah, okay.

First sign that LaFontaine won’t buy this team unless he’s backed by Sir Richard Branson — The New York Virgin Islanders! — Wang’s asking price is, get this, THREE-HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS. A three, then two zeros, then six more zeros. Really. For the Islanders, a team that is losing $40 million a season.

When you’re dealing with any Islanders-related rumors, the first thing you’ll have to ask yourself is, “Am I stupid?” If the answer is yes, then please, feel free to believe any kind of cockamamie garbage the rumor-pusher of the week is trying to get you to swallow. If the answer is no, then congratulations, you fully understand the lengths to which Charles Wang will go just to be a jerk for no reason and continue to torture the few fans his previous actions haven’t actively driven away.

This franchise is a joke, and will be until Wang sells, which will be never. He’s like a slightly less evil Bill Wirtz if Wirtz also told Stan Mikita to take a hike.

Don’t forget to donate to 826 Boston. Thanks again.

Hi! I’m writing these posts as part of a Write-A-Thon to benefit 826 Boston, a nonprofit writing and tutoring center for area kids at which I volunteer. If you want to make a donation, you can click right here. Thanks!

Not a good week to be Lubomir Visnovsky, now of the New York Islanders.

Okay sure, there’s that whole “The Owners Don’t Want to Pay Him to Play Hockey” thing but that’s an everybody problem (except the owners, I guess). But more importantly, an arbitrator ruled yesterday that yes, he really does have to play for the Islanders.

And what a long journey it has been for Visnovsky, who crossed all available fingers and toes that the issue surrounding his alleged no-trade clause would turn up in his favor. It didn’t. See the thing is this: He got one when he signed his five-year, $28 million deal with Edmonton back in 2008. But then he got traded to the Ducks. Under the current CBA (tick tick tick), a player who is traded loses whatever no-trade or no-movement clause he has on his deal, regardless of whether he invoked it.

Visnovsky did not invoke it when moved to Anaheim, and therefore lost it entirely. Bad news, because the Ducks traded him to the Islanders (who, even with Visnovsky now safely under contract, still have less than $50 million committed to the cap next season) for a 2013 second-round pick on June 22.

Immediately, and understandably, rumors began to surface that Visnovsky wanted nothing to do with such a trade, and would instead try to go to the KHL. That was on June 23.

But then, by June 24, it turned out that the interview in his native Slovakia from which the KHL rumors were culled was, as so many actually-honest foreign-language interviews are, refuted as being not entirely true or taken out of context. Newsday’s Arthur Stape spoke with him on the phone and Visnovsky confirmed that playing for the Islanders was his “first choice.” Which seems insane from where I sit — surely there are at least 50 places around the world that would be any hockey player’s choice ahead of Nassau Coliseum — but then they’re not slated to pay me $3 million next season.

And certainly, that was refuted almost exactly a month later, when Visnovsky filed a grievance with the NHLPA being all like, “Please don’t make me play for the Islanders. I have a no-trade clause man!” This is the kind of Step-3-On-the-Seven-Stages-Of-Grief bargaining you’d expect from a guy in whose rink a piece of ceiling tile might fall and kill him at any time.

Well tough noogies, Luby. But look on the bright side: Your defensive partner on Long Island can’t possibly be as bad as Luca Sbisa was last season. Wait the Islanders have Ty Wishart. Never mind.

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Don’t forget about the prizes!!!

The Lead

For those of you unlucky enough to have actually sat through James Cameron’s epic “Avatar,” who then found yourselves additionally luckless to have suffered through tonight’s Ranger game, which was broadcast in 3D, you probably noticed some parallels.

When Avatar begins, there is a single blue speck floating apparently nearer to you than the screen. You can almost touch it. As the hero, whose name I forget, pulls himself from some sort of cryogenic sleep pod and out into the cabin of the ship, the full scope of the movie’s groundbreaking film-making is made apparent. You’re overcome with a definite sense of wonder at what you’re experiencing.

Likewise the first period of the Rangers/Islanders game. The Rangers came out flying, particularly and not surprisingly driven by the Gaborik line, pouring 15 shots on net, getting a little physical and generally outplaying the Islanders. They paid for every mistake they made. For most of the 20 minutes, it looked as though the visitors were standing still while Gaborik picked up a pair of first-period points, and it was 3-0 by the first intermission.

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The Lead

Admittedly I don’t watch many Islander games. Something about how boring it is to watch a one-line team get beat in ways that are, on a night-in-night-out basis, not very interesting. Any time I do happen across an Isles game, it seems like they’re playing juuuust badly enough to be out of reach of their opponents; two- and three-goal deficits, that kinda thing.

And such was the case tonight when I had no choice but to watch their game because that was the only thing on at 7 o’clock. I had literally no interest in a Habs/Sens game that started a half hour later because I didn’t if Alex Kovalev got booed for leaving (even though he’s worse now than he was in Montreal so I don’t see why Habs fans would care). Same for Canucks/Predators at 8, talk about two boring-ass teams.

And so I figured, sure, why not? If nothing else someone’s going to get blown out and the game could get pretty scrappy much to Peter Laviolette’s chagrin. So okay. Flyers/Isles it is. I don’t have a rooting interest. Off we go. If nothing else, this Johnny Tavares kid has been getting his tires pumped a lot this season so maybe I’ll just sit down and watch him all night.

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The Lead

And there it was, the first gigantic hit of the hockey season. Dion Phaneuf on Kyle Okposo.

But given the time of year, this hit has already sparked a good amount of debate (covering several topics) among the Twittering and Facebooking and Messageboarding folks that care far too much about this stuff.

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The Lead

It has been four months and one day since the 2008-09 NHL season wrapped up with Sid Crosby raising the Stanley Cup above his head and while Gary Bettman wept with unbridled joy, wiping away his tears with $100 bills that would later be earmarked for use in the purchase of the Phoenix Coyotes.

But with tonight’s tape-delayed game between the Islanders and Canucks from some inland backwater in Northern British Columbia — there was SNOW on the ground! — NHL hockey began its 103rd “official” season.

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The Lead

There was, of course, much complaining in hockey circles today about the quality of the Versus matchup.

And why not? No. 15 in the West vs. No. 15 in the East waging lusty battle to see which team could possibly play badly enough so as to allow the other to win.

As it turns out, the Avalanche are a far, far more dire team than even I have imagined and lost to the worst team in hockey 4-2 before, from the look of the crowd, 138 fans. Though they put 22 shots on net, Yann Danis stopped them all save for two Ryan Smyth bids to run his nice little streak to five solid games in a row (he’s only allowed five goals in that stretch but somehow went 3-2-0).

And it’s not like the Islanders’ leading scorer lit them up. The goalscorers for New York were Dean McAmmond (already rocking an “A” on his sweater after 10 days or so), Jesse Joensuu, Bruno Gervais and Jeff Tambellini, who netted their fifth, first, first and third goals of the year, respectively.

For Joensuu, who’s pictured above, it was the first of his career in his NHL debut, which is always great to see. Just look at his face. That right there is pure, unadulterated joy.

Sometimes (read: when I post on Puck Daddy) I catch a lot of crap for being too negative about everything in hockey, but seeing something like Joensuu’s first goal PLUS an embarrassing Avalanche loss? Perfect night. Couldn’t get any better than that.