The Two-Line Pass

This picture wasn't taken in Edmonton's future

If you believe the Edmonton Sun, long gone are the days of players eschewing the Oilers to go to hockey hotbeds like Washington, as Michael Nylander did two seasons ago.

Erik Cole is now a golden god, instead of a mere Stanley Cup winner, because he’s been traded to the City of Champions.

When the Carolina Hurricanes traded Erik Cole to Edmonton, Cole immediately traded in his role as a largely ignored athlete in a third-tier sport.

He’s an Oiler now. That means he’s a rock star.

He won’t be playing fifth fiddle to NCAA basketball, NASCAR racing, NFL Football, and the occasional dog-fighting ring.

Cole could best be said to be putting a good face on a rather bad situation (Edmonton, yeesh), and Carolina’s certainly in the middle of something of a crisis. Only 10 percent of North Carolina residents would go to a Canes game over the Charlotte Bobcats, UNC or Duke basketball, NASCAR, or the Carolina Panthers.

Good news now for Cole’s family though:

“My kids are really excited that they’re going to see a winter. I called my daughter yesterday and told her we were here and the first thing she asked was how much snow is there. I told her it won’t snow till late October or November, then you’ll be able to go outside and play in it.”

What he didn’t tell her about was a little stretch called January and February. As one former HFBoards poster once eloquently said of E-Town, “Poor people die in the streets there because of cold and ice bears.”

Aw yeah son, the long-broiling feud between Edmonton GM Kevin Lowe and Anaheim GM Brian Burke came to another head this week when both took shots at the other through the press, again.

Some history: Lowe and Burke famously completed the deal that brought Chris Pronger to the Ducks and pretty much shored up a Stanley Cup for the franchise, but they’ve since fallen out. See, Lowe poached restricted free agent Dustin Penner from the Ducks with a ridiculous $21.25 million, five-year contract last summer. Lowe also offered Buffalo star Tom Vanek a deal that topped $7 million a year, which the Sabres had to match. That’s where Burke began to regard Lowe as being TOTALLY wack!

Burke was incensed, and calling the Edmonton GM things like, “gutless.” He also said Lowe’s management drove Edmonton “into the sewer” and that the Penner contract was a “grenade” to the rest of the league. Lowe responded by calling Burke a “blowhard” and an “egomaniac.”

Edmonton coach Craig MacTavish considered the whole thing grand theater at the time.

The feud simmered over the course of this season, but was brought to a boil once again last week, when Anaheim signed forward Corey Perry to a pricey deal. That prompted Burke to complain about the elimination of the theoretical “second contract” for RFAs.

“They’re all being re-signed at inflated prices,” Burke said. “Everything I said a year ago has come true. Every single word.

“Most [general] managers don’t like starting fights with any other managers. . . . Thanks to the Edmonton Oilers, the second contract [for players] has disappeared.

“You go right now from entry-level to what used to be the third contract, thanks to two offer sheets from Kevin Lowe.”

A childish response, sure, but what about Lowe? That’s right, he got on Team 1260 and SO went there!

“Where do I begin?,” started Lowe. “He’s a moron, first of all. Secondly, he really believes that any news for the NHL is good news. Thirdly, he loves the limelight and I don’t think anyone in hockey will dispute that. Lastly, he’s in a pathetic hockey market where they can’t get on any page of the newspaper let alone the front page of the sports, so any of this stuff carries on.”

Aw yeah! But Lowe went on to dis Burke even harder:

“I remember (L.A. Kings general manager) Dean Lombardi last summer saying to me, ‘You guys are (just) putting this on, you’re not really feeling this way. The NHL likes this stuff, they want to create a little angst in the media and stuff and get some headlines?’” recalled Lowe.

“I said, ‘No Dean, this is real.’ He was shocked that this was going on but Burkie loves the limelight. He’s all bluff and loud and Mac T (head coach Craig MacTavish) said it best - he’s like the Wizard of Oz, you pull the curtains away and there’s not much substance.”

No he didn’t!

It’s too bad Gary Bettman had to step in and tell both of them to stop attempting to serve each other. We were anxiously awaiting the Ducks vs. Oilers break dancing competition that would surely have followed.