Sonnet for Joey Diamond


(This post is part of a fundraiser for 826 Boston, a non-profit tutoring and writing center. For $50, readers can get me to write anything about hockey they want, so donate today to make me say stuff by clicking here. I probably don’t believe the nonsense below, which was requested by Greg Brousseau, who is a human monster.)

Shall I remind thee to your sending-down?
Thou art more worthy and more treacherous;
From Bridgeport demoted to Stockton town,
And career’s cold hath grown more dangerous:
Sometimes too hot the head of Diamond grew,
And so often was he sent off for majors;
And ev’ry one assessed deserved too,
Not quite by chance or nature’s course were yours;
But thy eternal mem’ry shall not fade
Nor lose retention of space thou ownest;
For stomps and charges for thy Maine games played,
At every ref’ree’s call didst we groanest:
So long as men can breate or eyes can see,
So long lives this scumbag: Diamond, Joey.

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