The Two-Line Pass

Hi.

Okay so I floated this idea on Twitter yesterday and it generated a surprising amount of interest. Here is the basic premise: next year, in addition to everything else I write, I think I want to blog about one team for the whole season.

I think what I’ll do is spend August doing some hardcore research, then start blogging about the team in earnest come September. Yes, I’m really that bored.

The only thing is, I don’t want it to be a team I’m very familiar with, and I don’t want to pick one on my own, so here’s what I’m thinking: why don’t you tell me why I should blog about the team you want me to cover?

Leave a comment, send an email, whatever. Just convince me why I should waste nine months of my life covering a team that’s probably going to miss the playoffs. Maybe I’ll take the four or five best answers and you can all vote for them, I dunno yet.

Anyway, team suggestions. Get on that.

Sounds good? Sounds good.

Friends and family,

Things have been going well on this stupid internet site for a little while here and I think you’re all swell people now (I used to think you were all blithering idiots, you see). And with this in mind, please get excited for the first ever TLP Giveaway Extravangza Contest.

At first I was worried that this might make me come off as a bit of a scumbag trying to monetize my dumb blog, but then I was like, “Wait a minute I get nothing out of this, and only the smelly ingrates who enjoy my work for some reason are the real winners here.”

So here’s the deal: The very nice people at Warner Home Video have offered some DVD sets for me to give away to you goobers, totally and absolutely free.

What DVDs, you ask? Well these are some pretty rad ones.

First is this nice 10-disc set with 10 of the Washington Capitals’s greatest games, helpfully titled the “NHL Washington Capitals 10 Greatest Games Collector’s Edition DVD.” I have no idea what is on this besides Alex Ovechkin scoring many, many goals, but I bet Rod Langway comes up once or twice. Maybe Olaf Kolzig too! It comes out tomorrow for regular people to buy for like $50, but you can just win it for free from me if you wanna wait a couple extra days.

Second is this six-disc set all about the ol’ Chicago Blackhawks, imaginatively titled “The Chicago Blackhawks Great Moments and Classic Games.” Stan Mikita is likely featured, not so much the middle part of this decade. Like the Caps DVD, it comes out tomorrow and is 40 smackeroos unless you win it from me FOR FREE!!!!!

Is there a catch? You know there is.

You have to continue to read this website (sorry). Every day this week I’ll post a Good Night, and the six people I deem to be funniest in their commenting on the previous night’s transpirings will win a DVD set. I have three of each to give away, and funniest person gets first crack at what they want, and so on down the line. That’s just how it goes. It’s my contest, my rules.

And hey remember, quantity is not the same as quality, no matter what the Calgary Flames’ current forward depth chart would have you believe.

Please note: if you don’t leave your actual email address in the comments I can’t get in touch with you to send the DVDs, so leave your actual email address. Or don’t. Whatever, I don’t care.

I’ll let you know who won by Friday.

Be reading, be funny, be telling your friends or get the hell off my website!

I startws a new job this week so I probably won’t write any Good Nights while I adjust to the new hours. This is mainly because I’ll be falling asleep at 8 p.m. like an elderly woman (plus 5:45 a.m. comes quick to those of us who, like me, are accustomed to going to bed at 4:30 a.m.). I will, however, try to do some sort of post or two of non-Good Nightedness to make it up to you, my dear, dear readers.

If you don’t like it, I guess you can shut up.

Believe it, baby!

The post was originally titled “Oh no, it’s a moral conundrum,” but I guess that was a reference that no one besides me and like three other people would get.

Just in case some of you were wondering just what your particular levels of outrage should be re: this weekend’s plethora of dirty hits (and I didn’t get into the slewfoot), this is what I hope will be a handy guide. Best of luck to you all!

You can go here and read it.

I will say that, as of now, the format is still a work in progress. We’ll see how things go. And no, I won’t talk about UMass Lowell every week, or, probably very much at all unless they do something like win the league or the Lamoriello Cup.

A bunch of stuff about Brian Burke, and then some other things! Weeeeee.

I seem to have gone over the handlebars and careened into an endless abyss of stupidity, because this latest post at FlamesNation, about the NHLPA coup that went down on Sunday, just ended up as a bizarre mixture of odd references that, I hope, made some kind of cogent sense.

Notable things referenced: T.S. Eliot, the Cuban Missile crisis, the Simpsons, Georges-Pierre Seurat and the late-19th century pointillist movement, Dr. Strangelove and Bobby Holik’s contract with the Rangers (though not in that order).

Like I said, odd.

Because I forgot to post it on Monday like a moron, here is a link to this week’s What We Learned over at Puck Daddy. It was perfectly fine.

And then here’s a post I did just now for FlamesNation that, like all my other work everywhere on the internet, will be poorly received.

Have a good weekend. Shut up.

Best American-born player ever? Probably not. Most entertaining American-born player ever? In a goddamn runaway. So long, JR, you bigmouthed jerk.