The Two-Line Pass

Don’t forget about the prizes!!! It’s the last day you can win them. Winners will be notified around noon so if you aren’t notified then be funnier next time I have hundreds of dollars worth of prizes to give away, which will be never.

The Lead

Man the Sharks have been drizzling cat turds lately, huh? Oh the laughs we’ve shared.

An overtime loss to the Panthers. They put 39 shots on net and lost 3-2. Hahaha! A 4-2 loss to the Ducks. Dany Heatley goes minus-3. Oh ho ho! An 8-2 loss to Dallas. Evgeni Nabokov and Thomas Greiss stop 23 of 31 shots. Tee hee! A 3-2 loss to Vancouver. Ryan Johnson scores the game-winner for the Canucks. Haw haw! A 4-3 loss to Calgary. Doug Murray finishes minus-4. Loff loff loff! A 5-1 loss to Edmonton. Devan Dubnyk actually gets a win. That’s just pathetic!

And then, for an encore tonight, the Sharks… oh they beat the absolute piss outta Dallas.

Well, it had to happen sometime.

I never thought I’d actually feel relieved for a team that just got to 100 points for what has to be the 600th consecutive season, but the Edmonton loss really struck a chord for me. How could any team — and by that I mean any team from Bantams on up — lose 5-1 to the Oilers? It surpassed schadenfreude and moved into straight-up empathy.

And you have to understand, the first period tonight was a mess. Shots were 15-13 in favor of San Jose, and 15 looks just about right for a team with that kind of talent level. But 13 shots against? From Dallas? With no power plays? That doesn’t make any sense. The Sharks were as discombobulated in defense as they were against Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver or whatever other team from this futile little streak they just shuttered with authority. Hell, they only allowed 13 shots in one of the three periods of the 8-2 loss to Dallas. You can see why I, and I’m sure other Sharks fans, were a bit nervous.

So I was kinda glad when Danny Boyle scored early in the second period. It looked like a weight came off the whole team’s shoulders and they were in total control after that. They allowed just 14 more shots on goal the entire game and Nabokov, for once, stopped them all. Rob Blake added a goal. Hell, Logan Couture even scored. It was a convincing performance for sure.

But the best part, for me anyway, is now that they’ve pummeled someone again, I can go back to reveling in what is sure to be their rapidly-approaching playoff implosion.

That’ll be nice.

Elsewhere…

Tampa Bay 5, Boston 3

Oh yeah, the Bruins look like a team that wants to be in the playoffs. Real bad.

New York Rangers 4, New Jersey 3 (SO)

Taking their cue from the teams playing for the last playoff spot in the East and the top three teams in the West, neither the Devils nor Penguins seem particularly interested in actually winning the division. Giving away points to the Rangers is just inexcusable.

New York Islanders 3, Calgary 2

When Eric Nystrom is the best player on the ice by a wide margin, you pretty much sucked. Memo to Brent Sutter: when your opponent ices it late in the third period, and your team is down by a goal, and the playoffs are literally on the line, you don’t put your fourth line on the goddamn ice, you moron.

Minnesota 4, Philadelphia 3 (OT)

I for one am shocked that Brian Boucher is not proving a competent NHL goaltender. He allowed four goals on 21 shots. From Minnesota.

Carolina 3, Washington 2 (SO)

John Carlson scored. He must have been confused when his goal did not result in his receiving a gold medal and a bucket containing several gallons of Canadian tears.

Columbus 8, Chicago 2

Even after a shameful loss like this, Chicago backed into a playoff spot because Calgary lost. They really shouldn’t have been allowed to do so.

Montreal 4, Florida 1

David Booth was on the business end of another head shot. What did he ever do to you, every other NHL player alive? Come on!

Toronto 2, Atlanta 1 (OT)

This must’ve been an incredible showdown, huh? John Anderson almost cried after the game. So that was pretty funny.

St. Louis 3, Los Angeles 1

The Blues got three goals on 25 shots. The Kings should start looking for a new goaltender pretty Quick. *congratulates self, awards DVD to self*

Nashville 4, Phoenix 3 (SO)

Phoenix and Nashville have 189 combined points and a combined payroll of 189 dollars. What a coincidence.

P.S. Please type your carefully-crafted jokes into the box four boxes below this line. (P.P.S. Nice to see you down here by the way. Didn’t think too many would make it this far.)

This entry was posted on Friday, March 26th, 2010 at 2:42 am and is filed under Good night. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.