The Two-Line Pass

The Lead

Sometimes life just isn’t fair.

The Blackhawks came into tonight’s game in San Jose having lost in regulation just once since Oct. 30, going an absurd 8-1-1 in their last 10 and outscoring opponents — get this — 36 to 19. And the last three games of that stretch, in which they went 3-0-0 and outscored Calgary, Edmonton and Vancouver 13 to 3, were on the road and in the space of four days.

And it still hadn’t gotten ridiculous. Not by a long shot.

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The Lead

Preemptive warning: For some reason people get vaguely upset when I write about the Flames (because, presumably, there are my favorite team and this is somehow offensive?). This is going to be one of those times. Also, if you have an ultra high-res copy of the above picture I want to see Olli Jokinen’s excited face as large as humanly possible for some reason.

It’s pretty impressive, what’s happening here. Jarome Iginla is hefting the Flames on his back for what has to be like the 300th time and making them, kicking and screaming, not-terrible despite their best efforts.

By anyone’s definition, he had a slow start, scoring just two goals and two assists in eight games and everyone was like “Old man Iginla’s finally lost it.” Peep these stats though: 14 goals in his last 14 games, 11 in his last 10, seven in his last five. Handful of assists thrown in there as well. I guess ya take that if you’re Calgary.

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The Lead

How you know Toronto had a bad night: they lost to Carolina 5-4 in a shootout. No, it’s true!

I’m not enough of a masochist to actually sit down and watch a game between the two worst teams in the NHL (and besides I was already planning on subjecting myself to the Blackhawks/Flames game that ended up being evocative of a scene involving a pinball machine in The Accused), but holy crap on a platter. It was like a regional sales convention of failure.

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The Lead

It physically pains me a great deal to write what I’m about to write, so if this post just cuts off at some point, please call 9-1-1 and send them to my place because I have almost certainly gone into anaphylactic shock after having an allergic reaction to believing what I am about to say. Here goes anyway:

The Red Wings got SCREWED tonight and they and their fans have every reason to be OUTRAGED with the League and referees Stephane Auger and Dennis LaRue.

Owwwwwwwww.

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The Lead

Yes, yes, Alex Ovechkin returned to the Washington Capitals lineup tonight and, him being the no-talent bum that he is, it took him over 15 minutes of game time to score a goal! What a stiff. Ovechkin celebrated his return by letting Matt Bradley be the baddest-assed dude on the ice.

See, Bradley is that dude in the above photo, covered in blood because he got cut open above his left eye in a fight with Aaron Voros. And I think he missed like two shifts while he got stitched up and changed his jersey which was, by the time he got to the dressing room, also quite bloody.

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The Lead

Andy Murray knows a lot about hockey. You can go ahead and ask him about that sometime.

Maybe you haven’t heard about how Andy Murray gets things done. Getting a team with a ludicrous amount of injuries to key players into the playoffs last year? Yeah, that’s him.

Andy Murray is a brilliant coach. Know how he keeps his guys motivated? He tells them they suck. Really. He makes up brilliant sayings all the time, like, “Arrogance breeds complacency and complacency means you are going backwards.” Don’t want that, can’t have that. Not on this Blues team.

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I startws a new job this week so I probably won’t write any Good Nights while I adjust to the new hours. This is mainly because I’ll be falling asleep at 8 p.m. like an elderly woman (plus 5:45 a.m. comes quick to those of us who, like me, are accustomed to going to bed at 4:30 a.m.). I will, however, try to do some sort of post or two of non-Good Nightedness to make it up to you, my dear, dear readers.

If you don’t like it, I guess you can shut up.

Believe it, baby!

The post was originally titled “Oh no, it’s a moral conundrum,” but I guess that was a reference that no one besides me and like three other people would get.