So tonight one great team played in a good game and the best player on that team did something amazing.
Congratulations to you, Alex Ovechkin, for saving us all from an otherwise yawn-inducing night of boring drudgery.
Ovechkin scored this goal and it was awesome. His Capitals eventually rallied to beat Montreal in a shootout 4-3.
But other than that and a Marian Hossa fight(!)? Dick.
Rangers/Islanders? Couldn’t think of a worse game. Columbus/St. Louis? I stand corrected. Detroit/Nashville? Who didn’t see that blowout coming. Los Angeles/Anaheim? Eh.
Just an underwhelming night, y’know? No slight against the fine players from any of those teams (and there are more than a few), but really, if you like a team that didn’t play tonight, you have more or less zero reason to turn on the TV.
Thank god for Alex Ovechkin, man. You really can’t say that enough.
New York Rangers 3, New York Islanders 1
Funny story: the guy with the most goals that scored in this game is Scott Gomez. It was his 11th. ELEVENTH. How much is this clown getting paid? Like a trillion dollars? I had a cartoon drawn up of some cops shooting a retarded person and then one asking the other “Now who’s going to sign all those free agents for the Rangers?” but the New York Post told me that these are sensitive times. In a somewhat related note, Dan Bylsma was found swinging in his closet with a note that read, “No funeral.”
Columbus 4, St. Louis 3
Fedor Tyutin scored in this game. I wonder if Fedor Emalianenko would make a good hockey player. Obviously you’d have to use him in the enforcer role, but he’d be the best enforcer of all time. And he’d get to fight bare-knuckled. That’d be huge for him, I bet. Someone would literally die on the ice. And even Zach Stortini’s patented “hug my opponent until the linesmen step in” maneuver wouldn’t work. One single-leg takedown and they’d be scraping his blood off the ice for weeks.
Detroit 6, Nashville 2
A wholly unnotable game except for the fact that Marian Hossa fought someone.
Shocking though this may be, it was the fourth fight of his career. He once fought Vinny Lecavalier. Interesting!
Los Angeles 4, Anaheim 3
Well the good and likeable Los Angeles-based team won. That’s good. It also didn’t give up any loser points. That’s better. No one put Corey Perry in the hospital, though, so points off for that, certainly. But Ryan Getzlaf had a goal and two assists to bump his totals up to a quiet and impressive 19-47-66. He’s one of those guys where you know he’s good but you never think about him unless you watch the Ducks or think of bald douchebags.