The Two-Line Pass

So with Johan Franzen going down for a few weeks with a knee injury, the Red Wings needed a forward.

They called up Ville Leino, a highly-regarded rookie free agent out of Finland, from Grand Rapids. Except not. Because they don’t have the cap space.

There was talk that Leino was good enough to have made the team out of camp, but then the Red Wings went and inexplicably signed Darren McCarty to a contract and kept him on the team instead, and there he remains. The problem is that Franzen’s injury might not be bad enough that the team can put him on the long-term IR (meaning he’d miss a minimum of 24 days or 10 games).

If Franzen’s injury is that bad, he can go on IR and have his salary not count against the cap for the length of his stay in the M*A*S*H unit. But until the Red Wings determine that or send McCarty down (where he belongs), and one assumes that with a game tonight they’ll get the decision squared away fairly quickly, Leino, who has an $875,000 cap hit, will continue to play in a league he’s obviously far too good for (he’s 4-5-9 in five AHL games) and Detroit will look for scoring from within the team itself.

I really do wonder what was going through Ken Holland’s mind when he signed McCarty. The guy can’t really fight, skate, shoot, or defend any more and is obviously not trusted by his coach (witness his team-low 7:03 of time per night with no special teams play) but they signed him to a deal that was above league minimum. Out of loyalty or something? I don’t know. But for a top-class organization like the Detroit, it was a particularly dumb move, and now it’s coming back to bite them on the ass.

Tough break for the kid, but this is on the front office.

Because I tend to not blog on the weekends, here is a feature that will run through the entire season. It aims to recap the weekend’s events and boils those events down to one admittedly superficial fact about each team that played. And hell, there’s a ton of other crap for me to blather on about too. And yes, I’m totally ripping off just about every other blogger ever’s weekly column, but that’s something you’ll have to deal with on your own time.

Danger: This post contains language that some people might not like. This will be the only thing on the site that regularly does so.

Why is it that every time someone gets cleaned out in the neutral zone on a perfectly clean hit that everyone has to get up in arms about protecting players’ heads?

It’s especially mindboggling in the case of the latest cause célèbre, Doug Weight’s pummelling of rookie Brandon Sutter in Saturday’s Isles/Canes game. Sutter was chasing a loose puck in the neutral zone and leaned forward quite a bit to try to corral it. Doug Weight, being a smart player, saw the opportunity to teach Sutter that trying for plays like that in the neutral zone are often bad ideas.

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Last night during the Oilers/Avalanche game, Ian Laperriere and Zach Stortini got into a bit of a tussle over the fact that Craig MacTavish kept sending thugs like Stortini and Steve MacIntyre out there just to cause a problem.

Laperriere didn’t like Oilers coach Craig MacTavish taking a shot at him either. “He kept sending those guys out there when it was 4-1 and I don’t think it was to score goals. Cracked me up a bit. It’s kind of funny a guy who never fought, sends those guys out there.”

So Laperriere eventually dropped the gloves with Stortini and you can see the result here.

As is usually the case, Stortini wanted no part of actually trading punches (Calgary fans call him “Huggy Bear” for a reason), and Laperriere took exception to that.

“He’s (Stortini) 240 pounds and he comes after a guy like me who’s 195. I have a hard time with that. And he keeps punching when guys are down. He’ll learn, he’ll find his match,” said Laperriere, who got a counter-punch from Stortini. He also was stung by the verbal roundhouse right.

This has been the argument against Stortini almost from the time he broke into the league with Edmonton. If you’re going to fight, great, someone has to. But what Stortini does most of the time isn’t fighting so much as it is tryouts for the more romantic scenes of movies like The Notebook. For similar fights, look here, here, here, here, here, and here. And also worth noting is that I wrote all those “here”-s without actually searching out Stortini’s huggable fights. I went in knowing I could find half a dozen no problem.

The Lead

(Please note before I begin this post that I had no intention whatever of writing about the Flames again tonight, but their performance against Nashville dictated it. If you were looking for me to talk about Buffalo, I apologize thoroughly. Onward then…)

If Mike Keenan still has a job tomorrow morning, it won’t be because he deserves it.

The Flames have played seven games now, I don’t think there’s been one yet where they looked like anything you could call a contender for the Northwest division crown. That’s all on Keenan.

The Flames may have gotten four third-period goals, including two from Jarome Iginla to complete a hat trick he started in the second period, but it’s important to differentiate Keenan’s lack of coaching from Iginla’s team leadership and ability to take over a game. You or I could have looked like a genius for that just by standing around behind the bench and enjoying a nice piece of Dubble Bubble.

But through seven games, the Flames have continually played undisciplined, largely ineffective, defensively irresponsible hockey. Two straight wins is great to look at, but those games have been impossibly hard to watch. I sat through the entirety of both of them despite strongly considering flipping to another game (I’m a masochist, I guess). I was eventually rewarded for my efforts, such as they are, but these games have been just brutal. The Flames picked up another 23 more minutes in penalties tonight, including giving the Preds a pair of 5-on-3 opportunities, one of which was a full two minutes because Jim Vandermeer decided to high-stick the nearest opponent after Rene Bourque had already been whistled for slashing. This while the team trailed 3-1. It was unbelievable.

The problem is there’s no accountability on this team from the coaching staff. Stupid play isn’t punished with a benching, and any line shuffling has just been abysmal. At one point tonight, Iginla was on a line with Vandermeer and Wayne Primeau with Cory Sarich and Dion Phaneuf at the points. This was actually a strategy that an NHL coach employed in a two-goal game.

The Flames were also hopelessly outplayed in the early going, getting outshot 14-4 in the first period and 24-15 through two. If not for a hilarious Nashville meltdown sparked by Iginla’s goal late in the second period and the Preds’ trying to sit on the lead, this would have been an utter embarrassment for Calgary on the first game of its brief road trip during which they fly from Calgary to Nashville to Phoenix back to Calgary in three and a half days.

Miikka Kiprusoff continued to play pretty well (two starts in a row! what a streak!) in making 35 saves on 38 shots, but he shouldn’t have been that busy. Nashville’s shots per game is 28.3, and that’s 20th in the league. Spot a better team 10 shots above their season average every night and see how many goals you give up. A hint: more than three. None of the goals were really Kipper’s fault. That, obviously, is on the defense, which ultimately is on Keenan.

The Flames will talk about how important the comeback was and how big it is to get two points on the road after trailing 3-0 for more than half the game, but it never should have gotten there. Keenan has coached a perfectly good team into Turdsville, Alberta (no, not Edmonton) and something needs to get squared away coaching-wise soon, because wins like this won’t keep happening.

By the way, the Flames are now 3-0 when Jarome Iginla scores. When he doesn’t, they’re winless. Think about that.

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So Jason Blake is a healthy scratch for the Leafs’ game with the Bruins tonight.

In his place: Ryan Hollweg.

Hard to figure what Ron Wilson’s thinking here. He says Blake’s game lately has been flat, and that’s certainly true. But I don’t see how replacing him with Hollweg helps the fact that the Leafs can’t put the puck in the net.

“It’s a challenge for me,” he said. “I had a lot to think about [during the suspension]. I just have to be careful.”

Uh huh. You’ve had a lot of suspsensions to think about this though, so I don’t know that this talk of contrition exactly rings true. The good news is that, unlike the Blues (against whom Hollweg has gotten his last two suspensions), the Bruins have guys like Milan Lucic and Zdeno Chara who’ll actually, y’know, beat the piss out of Hollweg if he so much as looks at a star player the wrong way.

For the record, I have nine minutes of ice time before he really tries to run somebody.

Two things on Sarah Palin in one post today so I can try to consolidate the hate mail right-wing nutjobs send me when I talk about her:

Sarah Palin story 1: Not a nice mom

We’ve all heard the kooky new age names Sarah Palin has for her kids. Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig (I’m hoping Bristol’s kid is named something awesome, like Tree Fort) are all suitably awful. But in this brief in the Washington Post this morning, in which Palin oddly refers to herself as an “intellectual” — she’s probably one of the few that believes dinosaurs were alive 4,000 years ago, but I consider “intellectual” to be up there with “elitist” and “arugula-eating” on the scale of terms that are not patriotic or Real American — Palin revealed that any forthcoming sixth child, should it be a boy, would get a very hockeyish name:

“I always wanted a son named Zamboni,” she said.

The full interview will be in an issue of Time Newsweek US World and News Report The Brown Journal of World Affairs The Christian Science Monitor USA Today Mad Magazine People that comes out later this week. What, was Us Weekly all booked up?

If we can’t stop her from becoming vice president (although…), can we at least stop her from doing this to poor Zygote Palin?

Sarah Palin story 2: More like St. Louis Boos

This story came out yesterday. Another “swing state” that’s leaning blue, another puck drop, another season to ruin.

Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska and candidate for Vice President of the United States of America, will be the guest of the St. Louis Blues on Friday, Oct. 24, when she will drop a ceremonial pregame “first puck” prior to the Blues’ game vs. the Los Angeles Kings.

Palin today confirmed that she will make the stop at Scottrade Center in St. Louis following a previous visit to Springfield, Mo., during her campaign trail in the state of Missouri.

Palin is a self-described “hockey mom” who is running with Sen. John McCain on the Republican ticket for President and Vice President of the United States.

Not quite so wordy or glowing as the Flyers release, is it? Of course, she’s showing up in the city where 100,000 people showed up to see Barack Obama speak last week, so I’m anticipating a reaction that’s eerily similar to the one she got two weeks ago.

Didn’t notice anyone bring this up before today, but apparently Theo Fleury used to have some personal problems?

Yeah, in an article in the Globe and Mail last week, which excerpted his forthcoming tell-all book (set for release in Fall of ‘09, and thus no Amazon link for you), Fleury reveals he used to party a lot. Who knew!

“I knew I was crazy insane and so did everyone else. I didn’t hang out on the surface. I would go five, six, seven, eight levels below the streets of New York and party with people I didn’t know. Freaks, transvestites, all kinds of shady people. Or I’d be walking home from a game dressed in my custom-made suit from Giovanni’s in Montreal and I’d stop and buy three or four bottles of wine. Then I’d head for the Chelsea Piers between 23rd Street and the Hudson River and hang with homeless guys around a burn barrel shooting the [breeze]. I would ask them how they got there. I’ve always been interested by that kind of stuff.”

Theo Fleury: man of the people (and possibly C.H.U.D., if that “eight levels below the streets of New York” crap is true). Where was he partying? The Area 51 set from Independence Day?

The book is titled “Overcoming Obstacles,” which is a title that’s more about assonance than selling books, it seems. What about “Doing Lines on the First Line” or “Bright Lights, Dull Reading?” Theo revealed on the Fan960 this morning that this book isn’t even about hockey. He will also be a columnist in the Calgary Herald this season and possibly beyond.

Interestingly, the company that’s putting out the book is also a VERY Christian one (and if it’s publishing Dapo Ogunsina’s masterwork, “Overcoming Demonic Trademarks and Embargoes,” you know it’s good), which leads me to wonder if they’ll excise the parts about a gakked up NHL player coming down from a six-day coke binge while serving a 10-minute misconduct major. I mean, that’s the type of reading even Jacques Demers can get behind.

So the other day, Kris Chucko and Carsen Germyn, both members of the Quad City Flames, went on the Dwyer and Michaels Morning Show and, from what I can ascertain, fired t-shirts at passing with a compressed air gun for no good reason.

There has been no reasonable explanation that I can find for why they were doing this, what they were promoting or what the Dwyer and Michaels Morning Show is (besides, presumably, “unlistenable.”)

I haven’t heard this show, but with two “wacky” middle aged guys and a mildly-attractive slightly younger woman, you know this show is an absolute chucklefest in U.S. market No. 146.

The goal, apparently, was to try to get them into the open window of consenting motorists (notice the double beep). Not only did they go 0-fer, but they also drew the attention of both a policeman and local business owner, who no doubt were bribed away with a free t-shirt of their own.

Check out these hilarious hijinks.

On the heels of Joel Quenneville coaching one of the best games Chicago’s played in years, the Blackhawks announced he’d gotten signed to a three-year extension.

It wasn’t finalized until Wednesday, but new Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville has signed a three-year contract, according to general manager Dale Tallon.

Quenneville’s deal is through the 2010-11 season and he celebrated by watching his team go out and dominate the Edmonton Oilers 3-0 at the United Center.

Well-deserved, one supposes.

The Lead

Earlier this week I said that Chicago firing Denis Savard in favor of Joel Quenneville was a dumb move. Quenneville has a history of coaching poorly against division rival Detroit and I figured if you’re not good enough to coach that Avs team (weak goaltending aside) into the playoffs, then you can’t be THAT good.

Two convincing Chicago wins later, I am rethinking that stance.

For those of you that aspire to be NHL coaches one day, get a video of tonight’s Chicago/Edmonton game. For 60 minutes, Quenneville’s team played a game that was so exquisitely coached in every zone that Edmonton, despite being a very talented team on a decent roll, looked like a middle-of-the-road AHL team. The ‘Hawks skated away with an effortless 3-0 win.

Now, I say effortless because Chicago made everything tonight look incredibly easy. But the effort for Quenneville and his boys was clearly put in on the practice rink. The forecheck was brilliant, either forcing turnovers or at the very least forcing the Edmonton breakout back down low to regroup in all three periods. The neutral zone play was a thing of beauty as well, as Edmonton passes were being picked off and Chicago moved through it freely, as if uncontested by the Edmonton defenders. In the defensive zone, it was nearly as good. Chicago allowed just 23 shots, most from low-percentage areas, and Nikolai Khabibulin was equal to all of them.

A friend of mine who worked for the Blackhawks for the last few years said it’s the best he’s seen them play in forever, and I can believe that. The Blackhawks committed just three giveaways all night but took the puck nine times, and only one of the Chicago giveaways was actually caused by an Edmonton player. Chicago also blocked 11 shots. Though Chicago gave Edmonton four power plays, the Oilers managed just one shot on net. You take care of the puck, the puck takes care of you.

After Patrick Sharp and Brent Seabrook scored special teams goals in the first period (Sharp’s on the power play, Seabrook’s shorthanded), the rest of the game was a formality. Seabrook’s goal, too, was perfectly indicative of the type of night Chicago had. Kris Versteeg blocked a blast from the point and Chicago had three guys go the other way with it. Once in the zone, Dave Bolland pulled up and waited for the trailer, and what a job Seabrook did in recognizing the developing play at the other end, especially for a defenseman. Seabrook’s wrister killed the Oil tonight. They never even looked especially threatening after that. From a blocked shot to a dagger of a shortie in seven seconds. It was crazy.

Granted, Vancouver and Edmonton ain’t exactly Detroit and San Jose, but if the ‘Hawks turn in performances even remotely resembling this against the real brass of the Western Conference, they’re going to win a ton of games this year, and make it look easy.

The good news, too, is that the game was at the United Center in front of more than 21,000 fans. They saw their hometown team play the closest thing to a flawless game anyone in that building is ever going to see. If that doesn’t keep them coming back, nothing will.

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