ESPN interviews Mark Messier. Guess how many times they mention hockey
Have a peek at this video of Mark Messier doing an interview with ESPN.
First they talk about Yankee Stadium, then they talk about Brett Favre.
Finally, 2:45 into the interview, they actually ask him hockey-related questions. He has to rate scenarios on a scale of “How Hockey” a situation is. I wish I were making that up. Every time the anchor does the cornball delivery on “HOW HOCKEY IS THAT,” I want him to contract hantavirus from the cheese sandwiches at craft service.
First topic: Players leaving the NHL for the KHL (not that they could be bothered to mention the latter by name). HOW HOCKEY IS THAT?!
“I think we all know the NHL is the best league in the world, and if you are a hockey player with any aspirations, the NHL is the league you want to play in. The Russian league is becoming something we definitely have to pay attention to, and the folks over there have a tremendous amount of money and they’re trying to build the credibility of it. We definitely have to have a working relationship with them in order so we’re not stealing eachother’s players that are under contract.”
Second topic: “Tough guy” Sean Avery works for Vogue Magazine and that’s borderline gay, right? HOW HOCKEY IS THAT?!
“I think it’s great. What makes any sport or any player interesting is what he does other than what we see as fans watching him on the ice. Outside interests are always intriguing to the fans, so what he does away from the ice is good for not only him but for the sport of hockey.”
Third topic: Seriously, bro, wouldn’t you call Avery a big gay loser?
“Personally, I wouldn’t. He’s in the right place. He’s a single guy and he’s getting to meet a lot of girls, so why wouldn’t he do it? He’s smarter than everyone else.”
Fourth topic: Sid Crosby’s living with Mario Lemieux again! What are they GAY or something? HOW HOCKEY IS THAT?!
“What a great opportunity for a young superstar like himself to learn from the best ever. I was there during the playoffs over Mario’s house and saw Sidney there. Great opportunity for him to not only feel comfortable and not have to worry about living by himself as a young guy in the NHL, but to live with Mario who, in my mind was one of the best ever and a tremendous leader in his own right. What a tremendous opportunity for Sidney.”
It’s nice to be pandered to.
