If your head is fat, you’re a jerk
This kid is gonna be an enforcer some day
I don’t know who funds things like this, but a recent study at Brock University in St. Catherine’s, Ontario found that NHL players with “fat heads” spend more time in the penalty box than their pin-headed counterparts.
Results of the study published Wednesday in the prestigious Proceedings of the Royal Society, concluded of the six Canadian-based NHL teams, the faces of the Ottawa Senators are dead giveaways when it comes to predicting how much time players spend in the penalty box.
“We’re not saying that Ottawa is more aggressive than any other team. But each individual player’s face predicts how much time he had in the box,” said Brock University neuroscience researcher Justin Carre.
Carre first measured students at the University while playing video games, and found that those with wider heads were more aggressive than other students. So the next natural step was to compare the width of players’ heads from their NHL profile photos to a players’ penalty minutes per game. Again, this was an actual study by an accredited university.
Of the 18 Senators, Carre looked at defenceman Mike Commodore, who has since left the Senators, with a facial ratio of about 1.6 and only about a minute per game in the penalty box, was at the low end of the scale.
Right-winger Chris Neil, with a facial ratio of almost 2.4 and about three minutes per game in the box, was at the opposite end.
The Flames, a big-gourded team if there ever was one, somehow had the least “correlation” between noodle size and penalty minutes per game. This does, however, explain Tie Domi.
The article goes on to state that a spokesman for the Senators was “at a loss” when told of the study.
Apparently goalies were not studied in this, but the lack of a real melon on Patrick Roy’s kid throws this whole thing out, doesn’t it?
