The Two-Line Pass

I don't know what's going on in this picture

From traded with Oleg Kvasha for Roberto Luongo and Olli Jokinen to released by the Wild, it ain’t easy being Mark Parrish.

It’s really too bad. Had it not been for injuries and Jacques Lemaire’s seeming distaste for his game, he would have been worth the $2.6 million he was getting paid to score the 35-45 points he provides a year.

As I reported June 11, it was hard to see where Parrish fit in on this team. In that story, I mentioned that sources were telling me Doug Risebrough was offering him in a trade everywhere. I also mentioned buying out Parrish as a possibility. But I suggested the Wild would be smarter to put him on waivers in camp and then call him up on re-entry waivers so they save half the cap.

…

If Parrish is claimed, that team will incur his salary and cap hit. If he clears and the Wild indeed buys him out like I know it plans, it’ll have to pay 2/3 of his contract or $5,566,667.

Parrish scored 35 goals over two injury-shortened seasons in Minnesota, and at only 31, he might be worth the $1.3 million for the next three seasons. Someone will pick him up, I think, and I’d assume Minnesota is counting on it. Otherwise they’re on the hook for close to $1 million a year for the next six in his buyout.

Remember a few months ago when the Habs’ Ryan O’Byrne was arrested for stealing a girl’s purse in Tampa?

Well he doesn’t have to worry about that any more.

Thanks to the wonderful people at Google, we have this shoddy translation of the CBC report:

Ryan O’Byrne has been bleached of all charges by the Justice Tampa Bay.

That is what the prosecutor’s office of the County of Hillsborough said on Radio-Canada Sports through Pam Bandi.

Implicated in history flight bag in Tampa, O’Byrne wrote a letter to the complainant in order to offer his apology.

The Canadian defender also pledged to carry out community work at his home in BC.

Also arrested during the evening, the attacker Tom Kostopoulos was exonerated.

Phew.

Unfortunately for O’Byrne, the charges might be erased, but photoshops like this will remain forever:

Lookin' good, O'Byrne

Yeah, not in Tampa I haven't.

In what is arguably the most important preseason in franchise history — new owners, new coach, new contract for your franchise center, and the No. 1 overall pick in the draft — the Tampa Bay Lightning have gone above and beyond in their attempt to sell hockey to locals. The first camp in which newly signed rookie sensation Steven Stamkos will participate is taking place in Victoria, British Columbia.

THE TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING PROSPECTS ARE IN TOWN AT BEAR MOUNTAIN ARENA THIS WEEK.

ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE CAMP IS NHL FIRST OVERALL DRAFT PICK, STEVEN STAMKOS.

WHEN ASKED ABOUT THE CANUCK’S PICK IN CODY HODGESON, STAMKOS SAID HODGSON “HAS A WELL ROUNDED GAME” AND HE “WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF HE STEPS IN AND MAKES IT RIGHT AWAY.”

THE PROSPECT CAMP CONTINUES THROUGH THE WEEK AT BEAR MOUNTAIN ARENA AND IS OPEN AND FREE TO THE PUBLIC.

- SONJA JENSEN

That’s some damn fine work, Sonja. Irritating caps lock use and poor grammar and spelling aside, the logical step was to ask Stamkos about a player against whom he has played only a few times: the Canucks first-round pick Cody Hodgson (note lack of superfluous E, Ms. Jensen)?

On the day he signed his first professional contract, which can pay him up to $8.55 million in bonuses over the bredth of its three years, Stamkos is fielding questions about Cody F’ing Hodgson?

The question I have is why the Bolts, who should be making sure everyone within 50 miles of the St. Pete Times Forum has indeed Seen Stamkos, wouldn’t hold camp somewhere that’s, say, within 3,000 miles of the home market. I understand Len Barrie was born in nearby Kimberly, B.C., but I don’t think a week-long prospect camp is going to turn any British Columbia residents into Bolts fans and that seems like it should be the goal here, no? It’s as crazy as the Canucks holding rookie camp in Pinellas Park.

This picture wasn't taken in Edmonton's future

If you believe the Edmonton Sun, long gone are the days of players eschewing the Oilers to go to hockey hotbeds like Washington, as Michael Nylander did two seasons ago.

Erik Cole is now a golden god, instead of a mere Stanley Cup winner, because he’s been traded to the City of Champions.

When the Carolina Hurricanes traded Erik Cole to Edmonton, Cole immediately traded in his role as a largely ignored athlete in a third-tier sport.

He’s an Oiler now. That means he’s a rock star.

He won’t be playing fifth fiddle to NCAA basketball, NASCAR racing, NFL Football, and the occasional dog-fighting ring.

Cole could best be said to be putting a good face on a rather bad situation (Edmonton, yeesh), and Carolina’s certainly in the middle of something of a crisis. Only 10 percent of North Carolina residents would go to a Canes game over the Charlotte Bobcats, UNC or Duke basketball, NASCAR, or the Carolina Panthers.

Good news now for Cole’s family though:

“My kids are really excited that they’re going to see a winter. I called my daughter yesterday and told her we were here and the first thing she asked was how much snow is there. I told her it won’t snow till late October or November, then you’ll be able to go outside and play in it.”

What he didn’t tell her about was a little stretch called January and February. As one former HFBoards poster once eloquently said of E-Town, “Poor people die in the streets there because of cold and ice bears.”

"I can't wait to get back to the bench and have a dog with the works!"

Vladimir Krutov a legend in Vancouver and Russia alike.

In communist Russia, Krutov was a goal-scoring monster. He netted 288 in 417 games over his 12 seasons in the Russian Super League back when half the best players in the world played in it. He also won Olympic gold twice, in 1984 and ‘88, as well as five World Championships, two World Junior titles, and a Canada Cup. He had 185 career points in 136 games in all international competition for Mother Russia.

Then he was one of the first players to jump to the NHL when the Iron Curtain began to crumble, and the results were not so good: 11-23-34 in 61 games.

That might have had something to do with his training.

However, Krutov did not have a successful season, battling homesickness and weight problems (the latter leading to the unflattering nicknames Vladimir Crouton and Vlad the Inhaler).

That’s never a sentence you want on your wikipedia page.

He was generously listed as 5-foot-9 and about 195 pounds at the height of his fitness. There are a few hilarious urban legends about him.

My buddy Ligur typed of this brief history of the Krutov era in Vancouver (I was going to retype this, but it was told too masterfully):

“He was the best player we have ever had” -Anatoli Tarasov, sometime in the ’80s.

But when he arrived to camp in Vancouver he weighed at least 220 and had not trained at all. Upon reaching U.S. soil, it is said the first thing he did was find a McDonald’s. He especially enjoyed hot dogs, which he consumed with gusto whenever he could find them, thinking nothing of eating ten or more at a time. Of all the Soviet greats, Krutov was the worst fit for his new Capitalist home. He was overwhelmed by western lifestyle and lack of regimentation from his organization. He actually continued to get MORE out of shape as his season in Vancouver progressed!

Igor Larionov said in his book that tried to change Krutov’s eating habits, but Krutov was unable to limit his insatiable hunger. In fact, Igor Larionov was laughed at during the ’80s for refusing huge portions of meat and potatoes with vodka, and maybe this is why Larionov, with Fetisov, both the most independent and rebellious players on the Red Machine team, were the players with the most extensive and successful careers in the NHL. They were able to control themselves. Krutov and Makarov both made a bad impression on their arrival to the NHL because of their penchant to overeat when given the chance.

And chances Krutov had. Durig the Soviet Era, the “Little Tank”, despite battling weight issues through his career, was kept in check by the militant coaching staffs of the national team and ZSKA lead by Colonel Viktor Tihonov but in America, land of the free, there was nobody to tell him what to do. So he decided to eat.

“His usual routine was to stop at a 7-eleven Store and order two hot dogs, a bag of potato chips and a soft drink. After practice, he would return for a second order.” - a former Canucks Head Coach

He loved the American fast food, socializing with Russian-speaking friends outside the NHL organization and the freely available alcohol, which he consumed to get over his terrible homesickness. It is also rumoured was administered “special” shots by doctors in Soviet Union which contributed to his exceptional strength but these could easily be, and probably are, unfounded as unlimited feasting on Capitalist food and eight hotdogs with double relish and mayo at a time is enough explanation for his poor performances.

After his short stint in Vancouver he went to Switzerland and then to Östersund IK, first in the Swedish 4th and then 3rd division, where he could gorge himself freely until he one day collapsed the D-section stands leaving a rink after a practice*.

_{*possibly not exactly true}

I don’t know if there’s ever been a more endearing story in the history of hockey.

This reminded me, too, of the famous Evgeni Malkin story wherein Malkin was supposed to do a conference call about scoring goals in each of his first six games. “I want pizza,” he said. So they got him pizza, and he’s used it as kind of an offhand “I don’t know” response ever since.

But as far as Russians and their love of food, my favorite story ever not surprisingly involves the wonderful Ilya Bryzgalov:

“I had a meeting with (Ed Jovanovski) about the All-Star Game and (Ilya Bryzgalov) walks in on us,” Coyotes coach Wayne Gretzky said Monday. “I said, ‘Give me five minutes,’ and I’m thinking, ‘This must be serious. Is he upset I pulled him early or something?’ “So he goes, ‘In Russia they say you eat a hot dog before every game. True?’ I’m thinking, ‘Huh?’ “

Somehow, the first thing Krutov said to reporters when arriving in North America (”I like… Hot dog and drink vodka!”) doesn’t have that same charm coming from a man who clearly does.

BEST BUDS

Last Thursday, NHLPA executive director Paul Kelly had a pretty fascinating interview on Team 1040 radio in Vancouver.

Because something like 30 percent of the league’s revenues were coming from the six Canadian franchises, Kelly made the logical argument that perhaps the league should expand to Canada

“It will ultimately come down to the revenue-sharing system we have in the game,” Kelly told the Team 1040. “I mean the haves - the big market teams - are doing very, very well financially, and they could probably do more in the way of revenue sharing to help out those teams that are in the bottom five or six on the list to help make them more stable financially.

“But long-term, the players aren’t singling out any particular franchises and saying ‘that’s got to go’. They really would like to see all the existing franchises survive, if that’s possible.”

That last part was what caught my attention. Sure, a lot of it is probably union talk since Kelly obviously doesn’t want 1/30 of the professionals he represents being completely out of a job should retraction happen, but this is conceivably a problem given that some teams, according to Sports Business Daily (subscription required).

Not to get hyper-technical, but teams are penalized for not having their revenue growth rate meet the league’s average, and those teams that fail to meet said benchmark see their revenue-sharing money, which comes from the league’s top 10 earning teams, will be cut by 25 percent. Should the problems continue, the league cuts 40 percent for the second year and 50 for the third.

That would be disastrous to a team like Nashville, which received the most revenue sharing money this year ($12 million, about a third of the team’s 2007-08 payroll). Teams cannot get money if they are in a major market (i.e. New York, L.A., etc.). Obviously Nashville and Columbus don’t have to worry about that, but they’re barely above solvency as it is, and getting their money cut even 25 percent could prove disastrous.

Brian Burke offered the key point in the Columbus Dispatch a few weeks ago:

“The million-dollar question is whether revenue-sharing will be sufficient,” said Burke, a former NHL vice president. “If we believe these franchises are an asset to our league, does it make sense to cut their subsidies?”

It clearly does not, but you also can’t keep propping up doomed franchises for the sake of having them. Had Bettman not stepped in and nixed the sale and relocation of the Nashville Predators to the welcoming arms of Hamilton, Ontario, it would be one less thing to worry about. Read the rest of this entry »

Sweet footwork, J-Bo!

Jay Bouwmeester just became the hottest name on the trade market.

After rejecting a multi-year deal last week that would have severely underpaid him for his services in Florida, J-Bo has instead signed a one-year deal worth $4.8 million.

SUNRISE, Fla. – Florida Panthers General Manager Jacques Martin announced today that club has agreed to terms on a one year deal with defenseman Jay Bouwmeester.

Bouwmeester, 24, played in all 82 games with the Panthers last season recording a career high 15 goals, while ranking first in the National Hockey League with 27:28 of ice time per game. The 6-foot-4, 215-pound blueliner has played in all 82 games for the Cats in each of his last three seasons. For his NHL career, he has played in 389 games, all with Florida, scoring 38 goals with 123 assists and 261 PIM.

The Edmonton, Alberta native represented the Panthers in the 2006-07 NHL All-Star Game and played for Team Canada at the 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino. He has also represented Team Canada three times in the World Championships (2003, 2004 & 2008), while also playing on Team Canada’s gold medal winning World Cup of hockey squad in 2004.

Bouwmeester, whom rumormongers have already linked to about 15 different teams regardless of their ability to trade for him, will almost certainly be dealt before the trade deadline this year, and likely earlier. As I said last week, the line to just negotiate for such a trade will surely be around the block.

However, given that Martin has everyone in the league over a barrel with this bargaining chip, and given that he might be one of the worst general managers in the NHL, it’s tough to imagine that a Luongo-type trade is not in the works.

A certain rumor maker-upper has him going to at least half the Eastern Conference:

Toronto (15%) Ottawa (5%) Boston (10%) Edmonton (5%) San Jose (10%) Dallas (15%) Colorado (15%) St Louis (15%) Pittsburgh (10%)

This also ignores the fact that hardly any of these teams have the juice (read: high draft picks and top prospects) or the desire to deal said juice to acquire Bouwmeester. It also ignores that this blogger/Sportsnet employee (which tells you everything you need to know about Sportsnet) has in the past two weeks also linked J-Bo to Calgary, Washington, Buffalo, the Rangers, and St. Louis. Being that St. Louis is the only team to make both lists, I assume that’s where Bouwmeester is headed.

To St. Louis: Jay Bouwmeester
To Florida: Dan Hinote, Andy Wosniewksi, 4th round pick.

For the sake of our hockey sanity over the next six months, please make it happen, J.D.

Good call on the Bolts, Burnside.

I know what you’re thinking: “It’s late July! Training camps haven’t started yet, but I’m absolutely starving for a heaping helping of Scott Burnside’s mediocre opinions on which teams will make the playoffs.”

Funny you mention it.

Here is the first in what we hope will be a long line of grading the power rankings of various hockey news media outlets.

Burnside, interestingly, takes the time to break this into Eastern and Western Conference rankings, so, because it’s summer, I’ll allow him that.

Eastern Conference (* notes supposed division winner):

1. Pittsburgh Penguins*: An iffy pick at No. 1 considering all they’ve lost, but they do have two of the top three players in the league, and Marc-Andre Fleury is developing into a star. Fair enough.

2. Montreal Canadiens*: Would’ve been my pick for No. 1, but if the only thing holding them back was a rookie goalie with a 2.56 GAA and a .920 sv%, then I think that’s a pretty weak argument.

3. Philadelphia Flyers: My No. 2. They’ve got everything it takes to get over the hump and come out of the East this year, especially if they can get hot again.

RIDICULOUS PICK ALERT: 4. New York Rangers: What? Why? They have NO offense! None! Does Wade Redden help the defense that much? Nope. This isn’t a fourth place team in the East because it’s not a second place team in its division. First bad pick of the bunch, but several more to come.

5. Washington Capitals*: Yeah, still the best team in a pretty bad division, but Carolina’s going to make them earn it this year.

6. New Jersey Devils: “We put the Devils here because they’re always better than we expect they’ll be.” What does THAT mean? If they’re better than expected every year, start expecting them to finish where they always finish, first or second in the Atlantic with 100+ points. Like clockwork. They added Brian Rolston, and they’ll definitely be better than the Rangers.

RIDICULOUS PICK ALERT: 7. Carolina Hurricanes: I would imagine that the Canes do return to form a bit this year and make the playoffs, but the Hurricanes better than the entire Northeast save for the Habs? Please.

RIDICULOUS PICK ALERT: 8. Tampa Bay Lightning: Ha! Okay Burnside, explain yourself. “The Lightning will be much more imposing offensively this season with the addition of Malone, Radim Vrbata, Gary Roberts and Adam Hall. Defense is young, and goaltending is unproven. Still, a playoff team in the mediocre East.” They had decent offense last year, and they gave up close to 427 goals per night. They still have no goaltending, and I believe the average age of their defensemen is around 24. Know where that gets you? Nowhere. Burnside is buying the Barry Melrose hype. Who said ESPN will cover the Bolts fairly?

9. Buffalo Sabres: Yeah I can see that.

10. Ottawa Senators: The Senators haven’t missed the playoffs since 1997. They always compete and put up decent numbers. Burnside’s claim that they have mediocre goaltending is true enough, but I don’t know if I buy that they’re a “one-line” team, or if that that line having Heatley, Spezza and Alfredsson on it is a bad thing.

RIDICULOUS PICK ALERT: 11. Boston Bruins: Seriously? The team that made the playoffs despite 305 man-games lost to injury (third-most in the league) won’t make the playoffs? They offload Glen Murray, sign Michael Ryder, get Patrice Bergeron back and healthy for a full season, have an average age of like 25, still have one of the most underrated blue lines in the East, and they finish ELEVENTH in the conferece? If it wasn’t for that Bolts-in-eighth pick, this would be the worst one in the East by a mile.

12. Florida Panthers: Why so high?

13. Toronto Maple Leafs: Inarguable.

14. New York Islanders: I think they’ll surprise people but they still won’t make the playoffs.

15. Atlanta Thrashers: Worst team in the league, and no future to speak of. Have fun losing Kovy at the end of the season, and hope Tavares is ready for Hotlanta in 2009-10.

Western Conference (* notes supposed division winner):

1. Detroit Red Wings*: Indisputable.

2. San Jose Sharks*: Yup.

3. Dallas Stars: Eh, I like the Ducks coming out of the Pacific but it’s tough to argue against the Conference finalist that pretty much returns everyone, so I accept this.

4. Anaheim Ducks: I don’t think Brendan Morrison will have quite the impact everyone in Anaheim is hoping for, and they might not get Niedermayer or Selanne back, so it’s an iffy proposition. Still a very deep offensive team, and their defense and goaltending will always be good enough.

RIDICULOUS PICK ALERT: 5. Edmonton Oilers*: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. The Oilers fifth, and Division champions? Is that a typo? It has to be a typo. The Oilers? In the Northwest? They’ve improved, certainly. Erik Cole and Lubomir Visnovski are solid additions to be sure but they still haven’t been able to lure one free agent of consequence to the Great White North. Vancouver and Calgary have both improved enough that they can stand on Edmonton’s throat and maybe even keep them out of the playoffs. There’s no way the friggin’ Oilers win the division.

6. Chicago Blackhawks: I know they’re the sexy pick this year and I know there’s a lot of hype around them because they’re a fun team to watch, but they’ve got to prove they can win rather than just be handed the coveted “sixth place in the Western Conference” crown. Brian Campbell’s a nice addition for the offense but does nothing to help the suspect defense and goaltending that plagued the ‘Hawks last year. It’s not the worst pick in the bunch but it ain’t great either.

7. Calgary Flames: Okay, so the Flames finished third in the Northwest with 94 points last year, and Burnside believes they’ve improved in the offseason, going so far as to allow for the fact that Kiprusoff will return to his career average numbers, rather than the ho-hum 2.69 GAA and .906 sv% of last year. So how exactly do they stay in the same place in the conference seedings? I don’t think Calgary’s going to set the world on fire, but they’re going to be tough to play against this year (they weren’t last year, at all) and the Northwest probably got worse.

8. Nashville Predators: I can see them missing the playoffs, there I said it.

9. Minnesota Wild: Meh, this is an okay pick even though they won the division last year.

RIDICULOUS PICK ALERT: 10. Columbus Blue Jackets: Really? 10? Ahead of Vancouver and Colorado and St. Louis? Columbus finished one point up on the Blues for last in the division with only 80 points, and somehow, despite not improving any great amount in the offseason (Kristian Huselius? Plan the parade!), jump to 10th in the conference? Nope.

11. Phoenix Coyotes: I’d have them higher. They can’t be much worse than they were last year, against a slightly weaker Pacific and they’re a hell of a fun team to watch. Though I doubt it will happen, I wouldn’t be completely shocked to see them sneak into the eighth seed.

12. Vancouver Canucks: Sure, Burnside attached the caveat that they become amazing if they get Sundin, but I don’t see how the best goalie in the league finishes four spots out of the playoffs with any team in front of him, and certainly not behind the Wild. Bold prediction: the Sedins and Steve Bernier make each other into a point-a-game players.

RIDICULOUS PICK ALERT: 13. Colorado Avalanche: Just crazy. They certainly won’t be a threat to the Northwest champions, whoever they are, but the Avs 13th in the conference is a bit of a goddamn stretch. They’ve never ever finished that low in the West. Last time they missed the playoffs in 2006-07, they STILL had 95 points, one behind Calgary for the eighth and final spot. The West just had seven teams finish with more than 100 points. That won’t be the case this year, and the Avs can’t possibly be 13th-in-the-West bad, ever.

RIDICULOUS PICK ALERT: 14. St. Louis Blues: They barely finished this low last year and they got better in the offseason. Just insane. There’s a lot to like about the Blues this year.

15. Los Angeles Kings: Yup. They’ll be better than last year, but not by much.

TLP Power Rankings power rankings:

1. Davis21wylie, ArmChairGM.com

2 (last). Scott Burnside, ESPN.com

Jay Bouwmeester would appreciated it if you traded him immediately

These days, you can’t pay people to stay in Miami.

In a move that has HFBoards posters falling all over themselves to put together terrible trade proposals, highly sought-after defenseman Jay Bouwmeester apparently turned down Florida’s latest overture, a multi-year deal worth over $5 million per.

People wonder why Florida never competes. Here’s a defenseman who would get offers north of $7 million from just about any team in the National Hockey League who’s just 24 years old. He scored 15 goals last year and was only a -5 on an awful Panthers team despite playing a whopping 27:28 a night in all situations. So Florida, despite having all the cap room in the world, lowballs him. Badly. A deal in the mid-5s would have him paid less on average than Bryan McCabe, Andrei Markov, Mathieu Schneider, and Roman Hamrlik. ROMAN HAMRLIK.

J-Bo is obviously waiting for the day he gets his arbitration hearing (and he’ll get pretty close to that $5 million if they screw him there) and can beat a hasty retreat the hell out of Florida. Who can blame him? NHL GMs will be lined up around the block to get this kid on the free agent market, and most will be calling the Florida front office with trade ideas about three seconds after his arbitration hearing lets out.

More like Fedor Emalienenko

There’s a semi-famous story about how Kevin Bieksa got his job with the Vancouver Canucks. His first training camp, he was a non-roster invitee out of Bowling Green University, and it’s meal time.

Bieksa bumps the table Fedorov (the Canucks’ third-round pick that year), and things get a little heated. Fedorov, a big kid at 6-foot-3 and 230 pounds, asks Bieksa to step outside. Bieksa obliges, then KOs Fedorov with one punch.

Recalled then-Vancouver GM Brian Burke: “The next day, I’m talking to [assistant GM Steve Tambellini], and I guess Bieksa was all worried about it, saying to Tamby, “Oh, geez, I’m all done, Burkie’s going to be really pissed, I show up and knock out one of his own guys.’ I listen to Tamby and I say, ‘Are you kidding me? I love that. Sign him — today!’ “

Things haven’t gone that well for the younger of the Flying Fedorov Brothers, as he’s bounced from the AHL to Russia and back a few times. This year, he signed a one-way deal with New Jersey and on his first day of camp, he got into a scrap.

The highlight of the morning was a fight between defenseman Harry Young and Fedor Fedorov during the second session. Young and Fedorov exchanged shoves during one down-low drill and after Fedorov turned away to rejoin the play, Young gave him an extra jab with his stick in the back of he leg.

Fedorov turned back and shoved Young again and the two dropped the gloves. It was a pretty even fight, no big blows landed by either guy, but this was two pretty big guys going at it. Young, the Devils’ eighth choice, 202nd overall in June’s draft, is 6-foot-4, 205 pounds and Fedorov is 6-3, 230.

Sutter definitely appeared to enjoy it.

“It’s good to see that in practice every now and then,” Sutter said.

Said Fedorov of his penchant for fighting: “If it happens, it happens,” he said. “If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. I think I can do better things than that.”

Yeah, two points in 18 NHL games since 2002 really proves that. Keep fighting, kid, you’re only 27.