It’s official: “Detroit sucks”
This is actually the law now.
I didn’t think the phrase “_______ sucks” would ever get into legitimate legislation, but it looks like I have underestimated the Tiny Toddlin’ Town.
So when Quigley put together an official resolution Tuesday celebrating the Hawks’ outdoor showdown against the Red Wings on New Year’s Day at Wrigley Field, he included a secret message to the reigning Stanley Cup champions and their fans.
He used red capital letters in the last line of his resolution to spell out a favorite chant he learned while growing up a Hawks fan ”in the second balcony in Chicago Stadium.” The letters spelled out, ”DETROIT SUCKS.”
That doesn’t seem especially secret. In fact, it appears to be rather conspicuous. But no matter, it’s awesome that people are getting this fired up over a regular season hockey game that’s almost six months away. Those Wrigleyville cretins might be on the verge of riotous action by the time this game rolls around.
And kudos to Quigley for making Wrigley Field and its surrounding area to be “octopus free.” We loved the way Gary Bettman banned octupus tossing incensed Detroit fans, and this will surely bring equal amounts of rancor.
Besides declaring Jan. 1 will be ”Chicago Blackhawks Day” in Cook County, Quigley’s resolution designates Wrigley Field and the surrounding area an ”Octopus Free Zone” — a dig at Red Wings fans’ tradition of throwing octopi on the ice after their team scores.
Good one. But looking at the way the rink will be set up on the field, the only person who could possibly throw an octopus that far is the kid from that movie “Rookie of the Year,” and he’s from Chicago anyway.
Quigley saved the best truism for last though.
”The good thing about being a Blackhawks fan,” Quigley said, ”is you don’t have to live in Detroit.”
I think even Detroit fans can agree with that one.
