The Two-Line Pass

Morbid obesity: not just for Canucks fans any more

For those worried that they can’t cram four or five of the seven deadly sins into their lives during a hockey game, the Bruins would like to relieve you of your trepidation. They’ve got gluttony covered, all you have to do is bring the wrath, pride, and sloth.

Next season, the B’s will have “Hungry for Hockey” season tickets. Now, you might say, “Just what does that entail?” The answer is astounding: All the soda, hot dogs, pretzels, nachos and popped corn you can eat, plus a balcony seat for 39 bucks a night. For just under $1700, you too could eat like a king every game this season. For some of the people I’ve seen at Bruins games, this promotion will be a $400 value. It sounds like a steal until you factor in the cost of a triple bypass.

This idea isn’t new, though. No fewer than 13 Major League Baseball teams are already offering the same type of seats.

So how much food do fans in these seats consume?

Ron Ranieri, general manager of concessionaire Aramark at Atlanta’s Turner Field, calculates that a typical all-you-can-eat customer downed: 3.35 hot dogs; one 20-ounce soda; one 7.9-ounce bag of peanuts; one 3-ounce order of nachos and 32 ounces of popcorn.

Those numbers are “insane,” the ADA’s Gerbstadt says. They equate to more than three times the daily recommended calories and carbohydrates, four times the saturated fat and sodium, and seven times the fat suggested by the Agriculture Department’s 2005 diet guidelines.

Those numbers again: almost three and a half hot dogs, one soda, one bag of peanuts, one thing of nachos and a tub of popcorn. No wonder diabetes is at an all-time high.

I have to wonder, though, if this is a ploy by the Bruins to lure Keith Tkachuck to the Hub of Hockey.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 21st, 2008 at 10:54 am and is filed under Hilarity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.