Theo Fleury wants to own the Dallas Cowboys, will settle for Denver Broncos

September 8th, 2008

Now that Theo Fleury fulfilled a dream and played in a Calgary Vipers minor league baseball game, he (not unlike Homer Simpson) has decided to tackle yet another of his boyhood dreams.

Sure, Fleury won a Stanley Cup title with Calgary in 1989 and Olympic gold, and, after retiring from the NHL in 2003 after entering the league’s substance abuse program, even played hockey in Great Britain (for some reason). That’s just not enough. His new goal is simple: winning the Allan Cup.

What’s the Allan Cup, you ask? Why, only the biggest prize Alberta senior league AAA hockey has to offer, that’s all!

“I think I’m going to come back to try to win an Allan Cup,” Fleury told the Calgary Sun. “It would be nice to add that to the collection.”

And man, this isn’t the first time he’s felt that itch. He also played for it in 2005, albeit with a different team.

But this time around he’ll have help. Former Blackhawks coach Brian Sutter has graciously agreed to embarrass himself by coaching Fleury’s Bentley Generals for the second time.

Look, I think it’s great that Fleury’s keeping busy, and I think it’s great that his competitive fire is still undiminished, but why should anyone care about this? Why call the Calgary Sun and leave a message that starts with, “Just a heads up…”? I mean, this isn’t news. Even in September, when absolutely nothing’s going on (you try coming up with these asinine stories!), this isn’t news.

Wake me up when Fleury makes his NHL return, or, even better, on Oct. 5.

Damn you, wiki vandals!

September 5th, 2008

So today, the Calgary Flames were the featured article on Wikipedia’s front page.

What was once a proud wiki entry has now been reduced to tragedy thanks to the internet hooligans known as wiki vandals.

FLAMERS? TURD HOCKEY? EDITING THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE THE CORRECTION OF POOR GRAMMAR?! Have you no shame, wiki vandals? Have you no decency?

Of course not. You’re probably from Edmonton.

The Two-Line Pass 2008-09 NHL season preview: The Columbus Blue Jackets

September 5th, 2008

Dont get too excited, Rick.

We’re now something like 32 days out from the start of the NHL season so I figure this is as good a time as any to start doing the season previews. This is mainly for two reasons: 1) I am lazy and there’s no way I’ll do one of these every day, and 2) This is early enough that if I just stop doing them entirely you’ll have forgotten by October anyway. Oh and I guess also to show off my near-infinite knowledge of the National Hockey League. I’ll be previewing the teams in reverse order of finish in the 2007-08 season. Please note, though, that this is the opinion of one man, however smart and handsome he may be.

Columbus Blue Jackets, you’re on the clock.

This isn’t the first time the Blue Jackets have dropped big money in the offseason in hopes of reaching the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. Right after the lockout, the team spent tons of cash on over-the-hill versions of Adam Foote and Sergei Fedorov. Fedorov was pulling down $6.08 million on the cap, and Foote was getting $4.6 million.

Money not-so-well spent. In the nearly three years both were with the team (they were traded at the deadline this year to Colorado and Washtington), Columbus won 35, 33 and 34 games. Ouch.

But with that $10-plus million freed up — along with a bunch more from letting some overpaid players go — it allowed the Jackets to either sign or trade for a number of players. It’s been a very busy offseason. Some of the moves help them now, some down the road, and some simply don’t.

The moves at the blue line seem nice. Free agent signing Mike Commodore is well-traveled and a very solid player. He’s well worth the $3.75 million he’ll get the next couple years, but by the end of this five-year deal, I’m not so sure. But maybe one of the best trades of the offseason for any team was what really beefed up the once-thin Jackets blue line. Offloading troublesome winger Nik Zherdev and promising but underperforming center Danny Fritsche for Christian Backman (eh) and Fedor Tyutin (hey!) addresses where Columbus really had problems. Flashy forwards like Zherdev make highlight reels but they don’t play defense, and that’s been Columbus’ problem, theoretically at least.

More after the jump.

Read more »

Turns out Ray Emery just kinda sucks

September 5th, 2008

So Sept. 2 was Ray Emery’s KHL debut, and it.. umm. Yeah, it didn’t go well.

Emery gave up six goals in a 6-5 overtime loss to Spartak.

“This morning I managed to watch Ray Emery’s KHL debut for Atlant Mytishchi vs. Spartak Moscow. Emery’s Atlant lost 6-5 in overtime with the winning goal scored by Stefan Ruzhichka on the power play.

Emery looked a little shaky, he let in a goal from the point with no one standing in front of him and was beaten on a break-away by a tied up forward whose shot seemed to surprise him. The highlight of the game was a beautiful goal scored by Alexander Yunkov after a nice pass from his brother(?) Mikhail Yunkov behind the net caught Emery looking the wrong way.

Atlant made it close with a game tieing goal from Pronin late in the game but Spartak managed to capitalize on the power play on a penalty in overtime and win the game.”

Not good, Ray. Not good at all. To be fair though, Emery never even had a chance on the game-winner.

Get in fights? Gettin’ paid

September 4th, 2008

In this month’s issue of the Atlantic, there’s a story about how, since 1996, players that fight get paid  primarily to drop the gloves make more money per fight than the average playmaker does per assist, meaning that on some level, fighting is more valuable to NHL GMs than goalscoring.

By fighting, lower-skilled wing players can create scoring opportunities for more-talented centers by intimidating opposing teams and keeping their skilled defenders in the penalty box. While a player earns a “wage premium” of $10,925 when he assists on a goal, they calculated, he earns $18,135 for winning a fight and $11,993 even for losing a fight.

It also shows that fighting can indeed play a role in winning championships. There’s a lot of math involved, and frankly I don’t understand any of it, but it’s fairly interesting.

Here’s a formula that shows how this whole thing was determined: LEVELj t = β Xj t + γ Vj t + δt + αj + εj t

Exactly.

Luckily, the whole paper is only about 12 pages and then there are a lot of graphs and things of that nature for blockheads like me to go “Ohhhhhhh lines show numbers!”

I do have one problem with this study though. The people that put it together, John P. Haisken-Denew of the German Institute for the Study of Labor and Matthias Vorell of the Rhine-Westphalia Institute for Economic Research, thinks that this is a bad thing, and that the NHL should fine teams that get in fights twice the fighter’s value to “ensure that the sport values skill and finesse over ‘bad boy’ enforcers.”

Take that kind of talk outside, peaceniks. This is hockey.

Just what we needed: more competition for the NHL

September 4th, 2008

Think dealing with the KHL is bad? Try dealing with the KHL in a few years, when even they have competition beyond the NHL.

The other day, former NHLer Hakan Loob revealed plans to dissolve the Swedish Elite League (click for moon language) in the next two or three years with the idea of competing with the KHL as soon as possible.

Håkan Loob revealed plans today: “It is a must for the Swedish ice hockey is not to lose out remains strong in Europe.”

Now it’s no secret or covert work projects anymore.

The new multinational Superligan can become a reality within two years.



Sportbladet can reveal that Färjestad, Frölunda, HV71, Djurgården and Linköping have jointly put together a team of outside experts and club employees to analyze how a possible Nordic accordance would work and be received by sponsors and hockey fans.

Apparently the response has been overwhelmingly strong.

The SEL, like several other smaller leagues in Scandanavian countries, is in real danger of being completely pillaged of its best players by the cutthroat KHL clubs, and and improved alliance (more like a unified front) would certainly help the Scandanavian leagues’ ability to stand up to the dark power growing in the East.

But he says that Färjestad just today have more focus on a Nordic accord than on KHL, the new Russian league. How quickly a Nordic league can become a reality is not fixed.

“I do not think that Färjestad play in elitserien, as it stands today, in a few years. A change will come about and more teams from other countries generates growth, which is a must for the Swedish ice hockey is not to lose out remains strong in Europe and why not in the world,” says Loob.

Right now discussed a Nordic accordance with 16-20 teams are included.

Most locations, are in Sweden and Finland. Then, strong Norwegian and Danish teams have the opportunity to enter the league.

But by becoming strong themselves, they also present a greater problem to the NHL itself, just as Russia’s league does. Granted, the Scandanavian countries have certainly been more than willing to send players over to North America in the past, but so, for a while, was Russia. What began as a bitter fight over Evgeni Malkin’s rights being owned by either the Pittsburgh Penguins or Metallurg Magnitogorsk has exploded into another Cold War with neither side willing to really listen to the other, but both overly cautious of what the other’s power growth might mean for its own future.

With the Scandanavians entering the fray, it could serve one of two purposes. First is the preferable, if less likely, one: that the league will help break the tension between the KHL and NHL by openly dealing with both, and encouraging business between the two others indirectly. The second, and more unfortunate option: things get worse, and in the Scandanavian’s desire to protect their own interests, they also cease to have a transfer agreement with either league. It would be great for Scandanavia to hold onto its big stars, but, speaking purely as a selfish American, I’m not sure it’s in the entire sport’s best interest.

Ty Conklin is a front-runner, but will sabotage Red Wings

September 4th, 2008
Ill sign for whoevers good!

He is.. TABOO!

Steven Ovadia, of the fine news tracker Puck Update (one of my first visits every morning) brought this up today, and I’d completely forgotten about it, as he had.

Ty Conklin signed a one-year deal in Detroit on July 1. Does anyone remember this?

I have to wonder who Ty Conklin’s agent is, and how he keeps getting his client into these situations. Everywhere he goes, he’s the clear backup, and last year’s performance should have at least earned him a shot to start somewhere. But more important, look at the teams he’s been on since the lockout.

2005-06: Stanley Cup Finalist Edmonton Oilers backup (he infamously torpedoed any chance the Oil had of winning the Cup after starter Dwayne Roloson went down in Game 1). Edmonton lost to Carolina in seven games after looking like the team to beat.

2006-07: Eastern Conference Finalist Buffalo Sabres backup. Buffalo lost to Ottawa in five games after looking like the team to beat.

2007-08: Stanley Cup Finalist Pittsburgh Penguins backup. After bailing the Penguins out with a great regular season, sees his team lose in six games to Detroit.

And now he’ll back up Detroit in 2008-09, and the Wings are almost certainly headed to the Cup finals once again this year. It will obviously go badly for them, as Ty Conklin is as cursed as the tiki idol from when the Brady Bunch went to Hawaii.

Interestingly, too, after the Outdoor Classic on Jan. 1, he will be the only player in the NHL to play in all three of the league’s modern outdoor games (unless that rumored Canadiens game at Olympic Stadium comes to fruition).

Keep up the good work, ESPN

September 4th, 2008

So today I fired up Safari today because Firefox was having a problem running a video. It was the first time I’d used Safari in a while, and I’d forgotten I subscribe to a number of ESPN.com RSS feeds. This is what I was greeted with.

Yup, The Worldwide Leader had 341 combined stories running in feeds, and not one was about hockey. Surely Sidney Crosby has done SOMETHING worth mentioning in the last three months. I mean, E.J. Hradek’s blog was updated yesterday. Does someone get paid to do this? What a joke.

NHL09 demo review: Yes, it’s really as good as the hype

September 3rd, 2008
Better late than never. This game is going to be awesome.

Better late than never. This game is going to be awesome.

Remember how much I hated the NHL2k9 demo on XBOX360? That’s how much I love NHL09’s.

Right from the start, everything’s just nicer. There’s a skill stick tutorial (helpful to new players, a helpful reminder to old ones) that teaches how to shoot and play a little defense, then you go right to the menu where EA presents the player with actual options (a novel concept in sport game demos).

You can choose between a regular ol’ game or a game in the new Be A Pro mode. Being the adventurous fella I am, I took a whack at BAP mode as a young man run by the name of Sid Crosby. The first thing I noticed about the game is that it’s a little slower than last year’s game, and that’s a good thing. At times last year, especially when the opponents got the puck to the perimeter, that thing would move D-to-D at 175 miles an hour and leave you no chance to intercept it whatsoever. With this, it’s a lot easier to jump up if you read the pass properly, and intercept it for a breakaway. The game, though, usually sees that coming. In general, things just seemed more fluid and realistic, although I did score on a hard wrister from the left on the game’s first shift. Iffy goal and certainly not a Crosby trademark, but y’know, weird goals happen in hockey, and at least this one didn’t go through Osgood’s chest.

Once we got back on D, though, was when I really felt like the game got itself together most impressively. It’s still as tough as ever to dispossess a strong team like the Red Wings from the puck, but the hitting isn’t as lock-on-from-long-distance as it was the last two years (and anyone who lined up a guy from 50 feet away and flew to him like metal shavings to a magnet can tell you that was no fun). Hitting still isn’t hard, but it’s not easy any more either. In addition, the “Poke Check” button is no longer another name for the “Take a Tripping Penalty” button. Crosby was actually poking the puck off people’s sticks like a real NHLer would, and a few times, he even got his stick into a passing lane and deflected the puck out of the zone by doing it. Nik Lidstrom, not surprisingly, can turn away even the best odd-man rushes.

Also, the puck is much more apt to pop off your blade if you make contact with another skater on either team, which is more realistic than only having defenders be able to do it, as in NHL08.

The new big-time button, of course, is “Stick Lift,” and for those who were just getting torched in NHL08 by passes that were way too close to their defenders to be physically possible, rest assured that this button takes away that problem. Passes too close to Lidstrom or Bryan Rafalski get dealt with, rather than becoming scoring opportunities out of nowhere.

The whole thing is just so fluid, and even a little moreso in the regular games (of which I fear I’ll play very little). The puck never seems to get stuck on the side of the net, unable to be handled by anyone while time runs off the clock. Absolutely huge change for me. That may not be a big deal to you the reader, but it happens to me a lot because, like Joe Thornton, that’s my office.

There were, however, some negatives.

First and most obvious is that the camera in BAP mode needs some work. It follows too far at times, too close at others. It also seems to swing around wildly when the puck goes the other way on the attack. I’d prefer it if it were like FIFA 08’s camera where the camera stayed fairly close to the player and, if the ball went out of frame, there was merely an arrow pointing to where it was, as well as a map of the pitch to show what was happening out of my immediate view. I understand hockey’s a different sport, but I think this something from which the NHL09 team could have been borrowed a bit better.

Second, and this is really nit-picky but it happened last year as well, goalies seem too eager to not cover the puck for a draw. Instead, they shovel it off to a defender, regardless of his proximity to the nearest opponent. It results in too many turnovers that almost never happen in the NHL and it should have been fixed.

Finally, the slowness of the game certainly adds realism, but some players, like Henrik Zetterberg, are much slower than they are in real life. In my second BAP game, I played as Hank and forced a turnover with a well-timed stick lift (sure to be the bane of any online player’s existence in a few weeks), and went flying through the neutral zone. Except I didn’t. Hank was going at full speed, but people were getting back to him, and I was finally knocked off the puck by Sergei Gonchar. That was fairly upsetting.

Overall, though, this was a phenomenal demo and I’m only more excited (how is that possible?) for the release. Download this immediately then pre-order the game. It’s that good.

NHL should go way too far out of its way to honor slightly-above-average players

September 3rd, 2008
Mustache Hall of Famer, maybe.

Mustache Hall of Famer, maybe.

Local columnists are always hilarious.

Whether they’re touting their No. 2 right wing who has 50 points as league MVP because he “works hard” or bemoaning that Mats Sundin doesn’t want to play in (insert city Mats Sundin would never want to play in), their homeriffic views are always good for a chuckle.

And as far as stultifying homerism goes, no one’s better than the Edmonton media. That’s why the Edmonton Journal’s Jim Matheson’s idea that the entire league should take the night off when GLENN FREAKING ANDERSON’S goes into the Hall of Fame is so adorable.

The NHL keeps insisting it will do the right thing and not schedule any games on Hockey Hall of Fame induction day in Toronto in November.

But it’s all lip service.

Last year, the league had five games on tap, including the Pittsburgh Penguins playing on the night Ron Francis, one of their storied players, was inducted into the Hall.

This year, on Glenn Anderson’s big night — Nov. 10 — the Edmonton Oilers are in New York to face the Rangers.

The Oilers and the Rangers are the only two teams Anderson won Stanley Cups with (five in Edmonton, one with the Rangers).

Why can’t the league go dark on the night they honour their greatest players?

Because Glenn Anderson is not one of the league’s greatest players. Less than a point a game as a right wing on THOSE Edmonton and Ranger teams? The gall it takes to compare him to Ron Francis, who had almost 1800 career points (699 more than Anderson) with so-so help around him much of the time, is incredible.

Now, allow me to play devil’s advocate for the Hall of Fame and the NHL here. There are only two games on the schedule that night, the aforementioned Oiler-Ranger tilt, and a sure-to-be-scintillating Lightning-Caps game on Versus. Now, would it maybe make sense for the Versus game to be changed to the Oiler-Ranger meeting in New York? Sure, why not? But should the league, who can’t draw viewers to Versus, give up its one nationally televised game of the week for the benefit GLENN ANDERSON? Be sure to let the Caps and Lightning fans know that their game won’t be on TV because of a second-liner on the 1986 Oilers.

And just in case you think this is another anti-Oiler rant, Igor Larionov going into the Hall stinks from a North American standpoint, but he at least scored 434 points in Russia before the iron curtain fell.